iktibar dan pengajaran

Pada mulanya..saya agak menyesal dan rasa bersalah kerana dah tersilap pilih kampung untuk survey..kerana mengikut kata mereka..every single house kat situ has dog or dogs..*kisah phobia dgn that animal bermain-main dalam kepala*. 

Bila saya jumpa my patient yg tinggal kat nearby kampung..she told me this and that about those villages..kecut perut..hampir menggigil mendengarnya.. Nak ubah tempat would probably impossible or i'll be fired. saya hanya share cerita ngeri tersebut dengan few people yg terlibat dengan pemilihan tempat ni je..and we decided not to tell everyone else. 

Dengan kesuntukan masa yg diberi, kami teruskan juga amanah ini dengan mindset 'mungkin ade hikmah disebalik ini'..dan Alhamdulillah..we finished it over weekend..

<<experiences>>

• Saya jmpe org susah - satu Indian aunty ni..umah die jauh dr umah org lain..tingkap pn xde cermin..sgt daif..rse sgt sedih ble jmpe dpn mata sendiri..bekalan letrik dan air pun takde..malam pakai lilin..bilik air luar rumah guna air perigi yg cetek (which mean air yg kurang bersih)..bila banjir umah die masuk air..anak2 kecik2 lagi..campur kena jaga 2 anak sedara yg kematian ibu..salah seorangnye cacat..umah die serba kekosongan..walaupun tingal 9 org kat situ.

• then ade satu Indian family tu..they have to take care of very old stoke parents (grandparents)..despite that, they all looked very happy, cheering each other, joking and laughing..macam takde masalah. i was touched..seriously i couldn't imagine myself being in their shoes.

• Satu lg umah ni anak die bedridden..masih unresponsive lepas accident on January..ade lori langgar die naik motor..ade severe head injury..dah buat operation kat HKL..now he look very cachexic..padahal umur baru 22. the head looks asymmetry..hanya terbaring atas katil hospital yg dibawa balik umah..CBD masih on..ade tracheostomy..makan ikut nasogastric tube  je..mak die ckp kadang die bukak mata..tendang2..tapi tak alert. Ade adik perempuan umur 18 tahun yg jaga abang die ni..sgt penyabar I guess. Semoga Allah beri kekuatan pada keluarga mereka.. YaAllah,,jauhkan aku dan keluargaku drpd musibah sebegitu..yg tak terdaya kami menaggunggnya..

There were few more experiences and lessons that i learnt from the survey..nak tulis panjang2 pun tak larat coz i have unsettled pages of report to go. ape yg penting..memang betulla ade hikmah di sebalik kedatangan kami ke kampung tersebut..kalau tidak, tak kan pernah tahu bahawa di zaman era maju ini, masih ade insan yang menderita yang memerlukan..setakat tengok dalam tv atau dgr org lain bercerita..ia kurang terkesan..tapi bila da jumpa dengan mata kepala sendiri..rasa macam nak menitiskan air mata.. 

Kepada yang diberi nikmat oleh Allah..jadilah hamba yang bersyukur..ingatlaah disaat anda bergembira masih ade yang berduka.. Kalau rasa diri dalam kesusahan..kita hanya akan tahu kita bertuah bile melihat orang lain yang lebih menderita..

justeru..buka mata..buka minda..jangan hidup untuk diri sendiri je..coz tanpa kite sedar..ade orang lain yang hidup untuk kita..dan kita sebenarnya hidup atas kesusahan orang lain

Tentang doggy..biarlah mereka..saya tetap takkan suka

walaupun penat..i'm happy and satisfied..and there were things that should be kept as secret between four of us~

wassalam^^

Best day in O&G

(this should be posted 2 days ago)

Assalamualaikum..

I DON'T LIKE THIS POSTING!!!

I always have that phrase in mind waktu awal2 masuk posting o&g or lebih dikenali dengan perbidanan&sakit puan. Tapi tu sume dulu hampir 2 bulan yang lalu..as time passing, saya dah boleh adapt sikit..and my conclusion is "you can find happiness if u're searching for it, although it is not an easy job to do"

Last Thursday time saya and kawan2 datang on call, ade dokter suruh one of us pasangkan branula kat sorang patient ni..dipendekkan kisah, saya yang kurang experience ni menjadi mangsa. Segalanya berjalan agak lancar hinggalah saat nak flush saline kt branula tu. Branula is a small tube inserted into a vein for introducing fluid or medication. Sepatutnya, flush tu dilakukan to test for functioning of the branula. Bila saya tanya dokter, die cakap "awk nak flush ke? Ikut suke la.." seolah mcm tak penting. *I don't know*.

So saya pun attach kan syringe yang berisi saline to the branula..dan dengan lemah lembut, saya tekan slowly..tapi mcm ade resistance to the flow..saya terus mencuba..and finally ade back flow yg menyebabkan everything terpancut to my face and my white coat. Ouch! Hanya Allah knows my feeling mase tu..takut masuk mulut..takut patient tu has any blood-borne disease..geli..and disheartened myself..nasib baik ade kawan2.. My conclusion is: branula tu tak berfungsi..tapi takde dokter yg nak peduli..so besok pagi patient tu akan dicucuk lagi sekali oleh morning shift HO..*poor patient management I guess*

Destination bertukar ke labour room.and as usual, wearing mask is a must for me. First thing to do when u're posted to labour room is seeing patient namelists. So bile tengok kat board tu, there was one patient a primigravida at 37 week of gestation with twin pregnnacy..that considered as special case.  Itu yang menguatkan semangat 4 of us to stay and observe her delivery..after hours of waiting, then only specialist asked her to push.

That specialist scolded us for standing there and doing nothing..she said that medical student should also participate and conduct delivery..and we, as usual:*speechless*.

"You..(sambil baca displayed name on my coat) go and get your gown and sterile gloves ready!!"

Dalam hati saya terfikir what is going to be next..tapi saya hanya mengikut order.

At ~2.30am, first baby was born with vacuum assisted. Ultrasound was done to look for presentation of the second baby..and it was cephalic. About one hour later, the head of the second baby muncul..crowning..bile kepala die dah keluar, that specialist took my hand and she asked me to conduct..*I'm shocked*..i did everything under her supervision..when the baby's body was out, I put her on her mother's tummy..i clamped her umbilical cord, cut it..and the baby is ready to be taken by nurse. After delivery of placenta, then only I knew that the twins are monochorionic diamniotic type..which we just discussed while waiting for them to come out. After that, I assisted the doctor holding speculum while she was suturing. Finally I unscrub myself at about 4 am.

Walaupun we had to stay longer, I felt worthy..and I learnt a few things..and I conducted a twin delivery..and I feel happy..and I feel better..and I have the spirit back..

Since case wite up tak siap lagi..i couldn't sleep that day..sampai rumah at about 5am..terus clean up the whole thing  yang dah berlumuran darah..solat isyak one hour before solat subuh..and print out write ups..at 8am..pergi hospital as usual..and this gonna be my daily schedule as a house officer in 2 years time.insyaAllah

*I should write what ayah told me regarding my future..his hope on me..and my career.

-NuRFaLaH-

Dilemma

Assalamualaikum

Currently I'm posted to HSM to do O&G..and today is my third day being here. I'm now suffering from an unease feeling which is difficult to explain. I try to comfort myself by thinking that those happened because of hormonal imbalance and what not..but physiologically I am in balance state right now! I don't know..

O&G..that's the issue..

Since I was in my school age, I really into this career. I really wanna be an O&G specialist and I really adore Dr Har. At that time, I just knew a little on job scope and workload as a doctor. I didn’t know what doctors exactly do in hospital. I didn’t know what is specialist is all about.

Now I know them. I know things that I should know. But that's not the problem now..

The problem is here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Saya dah start rase dilemma whether nak teruskan ngan minat lama or not. Truly speaking I'm not that happy to be here. Environment yg saya nak takde. I know that I shouldn’t blame the  environment..but then itu yg berlaku skrg..saya sgt sedih. I shouldn’t be like this..3 hari je dah takde mood. Ya Allah, give me strength! Saya nak terus stay on this path..but I really need support. Saya tahu ini sume nye dugaan dari Allah, untuk saya jadi lebih tabah.

Saya nak balik semangat yang saya ade waktu IM and Paeds..

My dear friends.. I really want u guys to support me. I don’t want to dislike this posting. Walhal saya sangat suka baca buku die. Saya jarang beli medical book, but one of the book yg saya impikan nak beli dari dulu was Ten Teachers. And skrg I have these 2 books. And I'm very happy to have them. And I wish that I can keep them sampai saya jadi specialist in future.

I just don’t like the environment when I'm in the hospital. Everybody is not doing the right thing. I hate that! Saya tak nafikan that saya pun tak lepas dari lakukan sebarang kesilapan. But bila basic and simple order pun ramai yg tak boleh buat, I feel sad..very very sad..coz I don’t want other people to mistrust us. Dari first year sampai skrg, I tried my best to like and love my group, that of course given by lecturer. I felt happy in my group in Year 1 and 2. but now?it's hard nak put into words. Tapi tak kisah la, I still want to try. insyaAllah, Allah takkan mensiasiakan usaha hambaNya. Saya nak belajar…….coz I know time is short..and second chance will never mean anything.

Case sgt banyak kat ward..tapi ape yg saya dah buat selama 3 hari kat sini? Saya rasa sgt rugi..Ya Allah. Saya rasa kurang confident nak pegi jumpa patient sorang2..tapi saya tak tau nak ajak sape temankan saya. Sometimes, I really feel neglected. I don't know how to share this feeling with other person. please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There are a few more thingy that make me feel this way..tengok labour, cara kerja, etc. Dah tak mampu nak tulis kat sini..penat bersedih!even dah cuba sedaya upaya to be as cheerful as possible. insyaAllah FALAH will be mine!

-NuRFaLaH-

Surgery at Terendak

Assalamualaikum

For the second time, I am in Terendak again..but not for medical anymore.

Yesterday was my first  day here.. I just came all the way from Taiping to Cyberjaya and finally reached here by 1.30am..and malam tu jugak baru kalut nak buat TBL memandangkan I never have a look on my study during holiday..shame on me! My roomate wasn't came back yet on that night..so I was sleeping alone with light on (as usual)^^

---talking about balik..actually that was all out of my plan. Alhamdulillah, Allah gives me what I deserve.

First day..Tuesday 8/11/11..

We went to the hospital at 8..it was quite late for a medical student..but it couldn't be helped since we woke up late and need to iron dresses and tudung first. In the hospital, it is relieved that lecturer didn't came yet. We joined surgical out patient clinic in the morning. Then we waited for our lecturer to come since we had session with him. But suddenly, he couldn't came. It was frustrating for our first session here turned to be like that..and I was supposed to be one of the presenter yesterday.

Life goes on..so we went to operation theater in the afternoon, learning how to do scrubbing, gowning and gloving from staffnurses. Scrub was the most interesting part. We need to brush from nail to elbow for hundreds time!! Ouc..it almost hurt!.. Then, we went back and have meals together at kedai tomyam. At night, all girls gathered at my room and we had such a welcoming party..my roomate brought bake macaroni, and we finished them up plus ketupat, rendang and orange. No drink served. We had sweet time together chatting, laughing, and the last part was cleaning and washing. When everybody leaved my room, I started to feel sleepy. Not more than one hour of reading, I decided to light off and sleep.

Today..my alarm rang at 4 o'clock in the cold morning. I supposed to wake up and complete my presentation slide. I noticed a dark surrounding when I woke up. Blackout! So I thought back..how about my laptop battery ruined??so I can't finish my work in this dark. The whole block is blackout. Then I decided to sleep back for how long until I heard a very loud azan subuh. Still dark. I had my shower with coldddddd water in a dark bathroom!

Going to the hospital..slight earlier than yesterday. We had ward orientation by a 'not very welcoming' sister. It took just a few minutes only. And after that we had noting, just to wait for our lecturer to come (he said within 90 minutes). However, he just came after about 3 hours. The first session began with my friends' presentation. I was sooo sleepy but thank God he didn't really noticed it (btw, I don't know whether he noticed or not *-*). After the presentation end, he asked me questions about intestinal obstruction, hernias and all that. I was slightly shocked. My answers never seem to impress him. NEVER!! He asked why we look stunned every time he pointed out questions.  And as usual, I started to have 'stupid feeling' inside me.

Suddenly, he called for next presentation..and that was ours..both of us. We went downstairs for laptop and compiling. I met Dr Tajmul and Dr Rosman on the way down..but it was heartbroken because the most we could do was just greet them, as we needed to RUSH downstairs. I started to have palpitation and dyspnea..and of course adrenaline rush! I had to calm myself, recite few doa' before going inside. I lead the presentation and I was completely being grilled by him!!! He keep asking me this and that even before I started. He even said that I 'tak faham soalan'!. It’s good that I was able to make 'muka seposen' in front of him.

After that we had lunch and prayer break for 30 minutes. He wanted us to come back at 3..for what..we don't know..

At 3pm+, we met again and we had nothing other than motivational talk by him. Some of the stories are inspiring, but some are not especially when talk and act are not synchronize. The session ended at about 5pm..and we had ABC and keropok lekor Cik Nor before went back to our rooms. At 6pm+, 4 of us walked along seashore. We recite ma'thurat together at one big rock besides the sea with water splashed at us.

Laut bergelora dengan gulungan ombak

Angin kencang

Daun nyiur menari-nari

Air masin memercik ke daratan

Paras air menutupi pulau-pulau kecil

Yang kelihatan hanyalah batu- batu besar

-NuRFaLaH-

IM 1..in memory

assalamualaikum 


while memory about my first posting is still wondering inside me, i should write something about it. the reason why i wrote IM 1..in memory is because i have completed 2 months of internal medicine posting with clinical exam yesterday and will never had the same experiences again..i really appreciate every single thing that i learnt and undergone throughout this 2 months..sob.sob..


from the beginning, Prof Latiff did remind us that IM is everything under the sun..so segala  diseases yang ada kat dunia ni sumenye under medicine. agak2 cuak tak dengar statement tu??terus terlintas how i'm gonna learn this way........but then day by day..i feel so happy and interest in medicine even without a lot of reading and studying. 


i like all lecturers in IM especially attending lecturers like Dr Shu, Dr Rafizi, Dr Rosman and Dr Ali and a few others..they are like very inspiring to teach and give us every knowledge that they know of. every weekend we had extra classes by Dr Shu and Dr Rafizi at main campus..they do that out of their job and they sacrifice a lot of their time for us..it is not compulsory for us to attend the classes,,but sangatlah rugi orang yang mensia-siakan peluang yang ada..and please tell me berapa ramai orang nak buat tuition free tanpa sebarang bayaran dan tidak akan dibayar??


when we were at Hospital Putrajaya,,most of abang kakak house officer baik nak tolong kitorang..(tapi tak dinafikan at first ramai yang buat tak layan..maybe sebab they are buzy)..we love to have 'on call' there..lagi best sebab dah tak ramai H.O..so we can explore the data and pegi clerk patient yang tak boleh tido. ward round at HPJ is awesome..macam nak patah kaki..waktu bulan ramadhan rasa macam nak pitam.huu~ saya memang salute dekat specialist yang buat round tu sebab die tak tujuk muka penat at all. on a public holiday, i was joining Dr Shu's round because she was the specialist 'on call'..it was more than 5 hours i guess! i joined late and i went back earlier but the round was not end yet. that's why people said that medicine's ward round is the longest..and i should agree *_*


in terendak, once in a week we had to go to Putra Specialist Hospital, Melaka to have a session with Dr Izham..we managed to look at a few angiogram procedures done by him. he is very passionate to be with us up to 7 to 8 pm (sampai kitorang pun dah tak larat). 


3 best terendak doctors would be Dr Rosman, Dr Ali and Dr Tajmul. sometimes, our sessions ended by maghrib time. we saw a lot of echocradiogram done by both of them and we managed to join OGDS (endoscopy) procedure once with Dr Ali and Dr Tajmul. Those were all best learning experiences for me and my other friends


Dr Izham is my examiner for my first clinical exam..he never come to see how i perform the exam..and i just need to present everything to him..history, physical examination and investigation..he just smiled and ask only few things..i ended up my exam after he said "good..well done!!"..but then it was really confusing whether i was really good or crap. 


Best memories together:

at Dr Shu & Dr Rafizi's house

• iftar together at Putrajaya (can't recall name of the restaurant), specially treated by Dr Rafizi + Dr Shu..at first, kitorang yg plan nak ajak both of them..tapi sebaliknya happened..so we just accepted dengan hati dan mulut terbuka.
• Potluck raya at Dr Rafizi&Dr Shu's house at precint 14. we spent about 3 hours there by eating..makan dgn sebegitu banyaknya dgn kfc, bihun goreng dr shu, sate, cake birthday mel, dan banyak lagi..sambil main2 ngan cute little farhah^^ yang sgt suke screaming..and dr shu shared her wonderful life at southampton. then siap bagi tapau bawak balik makanan lagi.
• open house rumah Dr Ali selepas bulan syawal dah berakhir..pun best jugak..dapat merasa makan laksa tomyam for the first time.. then tgok dinding rumah dokter yang dicat sendiri oleh beliau menngunakan SanCora..very nice^^ (kalau tak tau mcamane rupa cat tu,,silalah cari di sepanjang higway..banyak iklan cat tuh)
• last but not least..pegi pantai tanjung bidara with Dr Rosman^^)..plan asal ialah jogging bersama or brisk walking masuk dalam kampung..tapi sumenye datang berpakaian santai yang hanya layak ke pantai sahaja..we walked along the beach, panjat batubatu besar and finally we went into a resort area yg telah ditinggalkan dan dipenuhi semak samun (kalau suruh saya pegi sorang2 memang sumpah saya takkan pegi tempat tu..sebab sgt scary)

p/s: lepas dah habis IM..tibetibe saya rase macam nak buat MRCP..tapi saya nak jadi gynae..so boleh tak saya nak ambik both MRCP and MRCOG? YaAllah perkenankanlah hajatku..


t.h.a.t. i.s. f.o.r. t.h.i.s. t.i.m.e.^^

DRM camp

assalamualaikum


..setelah sekian lama tak menulis..

saya baru je balik dari camping selama 3 hari 2 malam di Kem Lambaian Danau, Jasin, Melaka

a field exercise for Disaster & Relief Medicine (DRM) block

that was my 3rd camp yg saya dah lalui dalam tahun ney

i've wrote about the first camp but not the second one

sebab yg kedua tu sangat havoc and made me speechless 

tapi one day saya akan tulis jugak

13 April (Wednesday)

pagi tu kitorang ade class mcm bese..tapi habis awal sikit dalam pukul 11.so sempat la balik umah nak tukar baju ape sume..then at 1pm ade cc session sampai pukul 2.30. at 4pm, then only kitorang sume naik bas masing2..15 minutes later baru bas bergerak. Tak sampai setengah jam kemudian, bas berhenti di tepi highway sebab one of the bas pecah tayar..so kitorang tunggu jela dlm bas nak dekat sejam..satu movie dlm bas dah tamat pun. We reached the camp at 7.45pm..solat..makan..then baru ade briefing and pasang khemah  masing2. Phone dgn watch kena serahkan pada lecturers.. dekat pukul 12 baru rehat.

as usual, i couldn't sleep..sangat tak selesa..masuk sleeping bag..pusing sana..pusing sini..kepala mengadap pintu khemah..akhirnya tertidur jugak dan saya rasa waktu tu dah pukul 2.30am kot. Tak sampai berape jam pun tido, bunyi fire crackers ape bagai..tu tanda ade disaster. sume kena evacuate..keluar khemah pegi berkumpul..nasib baik saya pakai tracksuit ngan long sleeve shirt tido..so bangun pakai tudung je..memang kalut la. lepas dah habis selesai, baru die bagitau jam sebenarnya pukul 4 pagi.sgt mengantuk ok!

15 April (Thursday)

5.30 pagi, sentry yg bertugas dah sibuk kejutkan sume orang bangun subuh. sgt memekak dan annoying..bangun gosok gigi then pegi surau sebab dah takleh tido. At 7am, ade morning exercise. baru nyanyi lagu Negaraku sepatah, dah kena lari 3 rounds sebab low pitch. Exercise pulak macam ape je. simple but tired. 

pastu ade perasmian.. after that, ade lecture pasal In Hospital Disaster Management. In 3 groups, we had to design our own hospital..and our team had chosen as the winner. After lunch takde any fixed activity..amatlah ramai yg tido bergelimpangan kat hall tu..dan semestinya saya BUKAN one of them. so duduk je lepak2..pastu pegi belaja and paractice GPS. then Prof ajar transportation..macamane nak angkat mangsa, precaution ape sume..and i'd to be a 'patient' for practical purpose

cervical collar- pakaikan to unconscious patient/ spinal cord injury

triangular bandage- for humerus fracture

at night, we had war game..fight between CuRe (my team), Young Mercy and Wataniah. our weapons are balloons filled with diluted white paint. i don't know the best strategy for that game since it was my first time. As we played in the dark, i felt down while running and got abrasions at both knees and hand. 

after the game ended, everyone sibuk nak mandi since most of us never been bathing since yesterday. kitorang mandi beramai-ramai kat kolah besar dengan lampu yg malap. even though air yg digunakan sangat tak best (air tasik yg di pump), saya tetap mandi, sabun and shampoo banyak2. Hujan renyai2 dan saya tido agak ok that night. Pukul 5 pagi kena bangun berjaga round sume khemah..sambil menggigil kesejukan dan tersengguk2 mengantuk. Lepas kejutkan orang bangun subuh, saya sambung tido sampai 6.30.

16 April (Friday)

Lepas breakfast, we got a short briefing regarding todays's activity.. a plane crash dengan 40 mangsa tercampak merata tempat. everyone had given their roles..and my role was to be one of the victims. sume mangsa di 'make-up' oleh lecturers dan diletakkan kat mana yg sesuai. Saya dan 3 orang lagi disuruh berendam dalam tasik dengan memakai life-jacket..skrip lakonan saya: kepala berdarah (guna sirap and buncho color), menggigil (hypothermia), drowsy (mcm biul2 sebab ade head injury). Saya tanya mcmane ciri2 drowsy, Mr P cakap spinning, slurred speech and blurred.

pasukan penyelamat datang agak lambat..air pun dah start masuk telinga..nasib baik ade life jacket. kalau tak mmg dah lemas agaknye. Hanya penyelamat lelaki yg datang kat kawasan air. Air tasik tu agak dalam sebab tanah die berpaya dan jerlus..so agak menyusahkan penyelamat.

penyelamat A: mcamane nak selamatkan ni? kan tak leh ade physical contact

penyelamat B: tapi die pakai life jacket..so boleh la kot.

penyelamat A: jom kita angkat jela bawak keluar.

saya tak sanggup nak tengok sape yg angkat saya tu..mmg segan la..2 kali saya dilepaskan ke dalam air for unknown reason; maybe sebab berat or kaki diorang masuk dalam tanah. Just imagine someone thrown you into the lake. kalau sendiri terjun ok lagi sbb mmg dah ready. Memang la saya selamat sebab ade life-jacket tu, tapi still..horror u know!

after dah bawak keluar, saya diletakkan atas titi while waiting for another group of penyelamat. Without checking anything, they simply labeled me as 'RED' which means primary priority. But actually I was supposed to be 'YELLOW', secondary priority.. At first, I was pretending to be menggigil, tapi then mmg betul2 menggigil dan sejuk. For the second time, another group of penyelamat lelaki transport me out ke tempat yg selamat.. beberapa kali saya diletakkan atas tanah sebab diorang penat. Mmg penat pun sebab perjalanan agak jauh plus saya dah diberatkan oleh air and life jacket. Situasi agak memalukan sebab sepanjang laluan sume orang pandang saya yg drowsy and menggigil ney. 

Then saya di pass to another group of penyelemat. kali ney baru saya dibawa menggunakan stretcher oleh penyelamat perempuan after take out the life-jacket. Saya dibawa terus ke khemah rawatan. Then, saya diletakkan atas sehelai kain dan diselimutkan. Medical team kat situ dah tak tau how to treat me sebab ade head injury. Pastu saya diangkat menggunakan kain utk ke tertiary hospital.

saya              : kat mane ney? (dengan nada slurred speech)

medical team : dah sampai hospital dah..

saya              : aaahhh...seeejuuukkk...seeejuuukkk..

medical team : bangun la..lakonan dah habis kat sini.

saya              : eh..kte betul2 sejuk la (dengan menggigil-gigil yg sebenar-benar)

saya terus meringkuk dalam selimut tu sebab dah tak tahan sejuknye. Then Prof datang, suruh saya pegi tukar baju. Bila berdiri je, saya terus rasa mcm hilang balance and drowsy..nasib baik ade kakak admin and sorang kawan saya datang guide pimpin saya. Waktu tu saya dah tak tau khemah saya yg mana satu..sgt blur..nasib baik kawan saya tau dan die tolong bukakan zip..saya ambik pakaian dan toiletries, sekali lagi kakak tu pimpin bawak pegi tempat mandi. Bila saya cakap saya dah ok kat sini, then only kakak tu pegi. Saya terus ambik air siram kat atas kepala berkali-kali..baru hilang drowsy. 

After that semua berkumpul balik for photography session. Saya dah takde rupa victim sebab dah mandi bersih. 

Lepas lunch, kitorang beba buat ape saje sementara tunggu bas datang. So saya pegi berkayak kat tasik. And it was a nice thing to remember^^

At 4.15..we leaved the camp and i was sleeping along the way sampai tol Putrajaya..we arrived at college by 6.30pm

...TAMAT...

My own decision

assalamualaikum

When my name was listed to attend the DRM training, I was resisted to go instead. Lagipun, wataniah group dah pegi to that place a month ago..so dorang dah mcm citer sikit2 what happened there. But guess where am I right now?? I am at the Akademi Bomba & Penyelamat Malaysia, Kuala Kubu Bharu.

It is not that I come as my name was listed, but this is my decision..a decision made by me a few hours before we were going..kalau nak ikutkan sebab I was asked to go, saya boleh je taknak pegi sebab saya dah mmg salu sangat refuse and create a lot of excuses for not joining..and I keep doing that since sekolah rendah.hebat tak saya. Tapi kalau nak diikutkan dari segi ability, saya mmg boleh dikategorikan as ‘disable’ in certain cases. Pastu bila saya cakap kat umi kena pegi camp ney, umi suruh cakap kat ayah..tapi bila saya mesej ayah..ayah cakap “up to u my sweety”..tapi ayah suruh buat solat istikharah (istikharah tu perlu dalam segenap aspek kehidupan)

When it came to my decision making, I was a little confused as I am not a kind of person with ‘free-decision making’. Tapi sejak dari awal lagi mmg saya langsung tak teringin nak pegi..jiwa saya tak penah serasi untuk sume tu..asal ape saje outdoor activities, mmg silap la kalau ajak saya..dorang dah promote mcm2 kat saya..saya was like *blurrrrrrr..

Tapi bila saya fikir banyak kali..then that’s why i am here! So saya takde salahkan sape2 for my going. Banyak sebab la yg saya fikir then I think this would be the best decision for me.

Ape saye buat kat sini??

Jumaat ptg: sampai je->check in bilik -> ambik properties utk kegunaan kat sini -> pastu die suruh kitorang test kawad, pumping atas tar ngan star jump secara serentak..kononnye nak test stamina..bla la die..ingat kitorang ney camp recruits ke? Pumping atas tar tu azab tau..habes tangan merah2 dengan sakit bahu lagi nak kena tahan badan..hish..i never do that ok!

Sabtu: sessi pagi before lunch kitorang just dengar talk je pasal Majlis Keselamatan Negara & Incident Management System yg semestinya mengantuk.huh~ then balik bilik rehat..before 2pm dah kene ready with uniform tu (overall+boots+helmet).

Then we were teached on ‘compressed air tank’..how to operate sume. ‘fortunately’..kitorang kene buat sendiri lepas tu siap ngan pakai mask so that we used that air to breath. Saya sangat lemas pakai benda alah tu..dah la die mengeluarkan bunyi yg tak best. Pastu kitorang kena sort of kawad bomba with that set on pur body.berat giler..memang sakit belakang dibuatnye. Adeke pulak die suruh buat star jump..berat wey!

Pastu ade kena larilari..naik bukit sikit turun bukit lagi dgn pakai benda alah tu..saya mmg dah tercungap-cungap..sape tak kenal saya yg always weak ney..dlm hati saya dah menyumpah-nyumpah ‘kenape aku dtg sini’, ‘ish, takde modul training yg lembut sikit ke?’

Bila dah habis round 1, saya dah tak tahan breath with that air..hidung saya dah berair..nak lap tak boleh, nak sedut pun tak boleh..saya pun stop at that point..en.bomba tu tolong bukakan mask yg melemaskan saya tu. Bila saya dah ok sikit bernafas saya pakai balik sume to continue the task. Saya tengok orang lain tengah menyusur kat padang. Saya just merangkak je sebab saya tak larat nak menyusur mcm tu..

But soon after that menyusur session, air tank saya beeped, which indicate low air content. Bila saya bagitau kat abg bomba, die cakap takpe..just continue until I can hardly breath. So saya pun continue la..tapi jadi the last person la. nasib baik abg bomba tu jalan seiring saya n cakap2 ngan saya.kalau tidak saya dah taknak teruskan sampai  habis rasenye.

Sampai je end point, abg bomba tu tolong bukakan mask ngan air tank saya tu..thank you abg bomba~ pastu just imagine kitorang kena bawak balik tangki tu naik ke bilik masing2 at 3^rd floor..sangat terseksa.

Malam pulak ade simulation on handling kebakaran. My role was to become a dead victim in the incidence. Bila ade pasukan penyelamat nak datang selamatkan saya, saya mmg act like a dead body..unresponsiveness. pastu dorang angkat saya bawak turun..saya dengar dorang cakap saya berat..pastu letakkan saya kat bawah kejap waiting for stretcher. Dan saya pun terus mematikan diri. Yes I’m good in acting.well. waktu dibawak atas stretcher tu, saya agak takut sebenarnye..sebab ramai yg tolong tapi rasa mcm senget je..so saya terpaksa pegang tepi side stretcher tu..nice memory~

ahad: pagi ade sharing experience ngan prof salamun n pakcik bomba tu..mcm bese masalah bile duduk lama2 ngan dengar presentation.huh. after break, kitorang kena loosen that tangki n simpan balik kat tempat die. 


pastu bermulalah episod lain..kitorang dibagi to 4 people per group utk masuk kat tempat gelap. tujuannye supaya kite tau cara2 nak selamatkan diri if caught up with dark. lagi satu utk hilangkan fobia gelap.tak taula.tu org tu yg cakap. kitorang kena pakai mask sekali utk filter air kat dlm tu (nasib baik takyah pakai tank)..group by group kena masuk ikut turn.


waktu briefing group kitorang kat dlm entrance gelap tu, abg bomba tu cakap cube imagine duduk 6 feet in with no single light..pastu malaikat datang. if amalan kite baik, it will brighten us..if not, tau2 sendiri la..(tazkirah dari abg bomba..insaf la jugak sebab mmg sangat gelap ok)


bile dah start masuk, saya jadi the 4th person so just follow the other 3 friends..cuba taknak lepaskan tangan dorang..my pupil dilate besar gile kot waktu tu..ade part kitorang kena merangkak, panjat, terjun, menyusur dan berjalan teraba raba..ade lubang, tunnel ape cukup kat dalam tu. mmg berpeluh peluh la dibuatnya..quite longer time jugak la kitorang ambik utk jumpa jalan keluar. muka dah macam sauna sebab pakai mask tu.


havoc tak pengalaman bilik gelap saya??


bile sume group dah complete, kitorang gather balik..bomba2 tu suruh kitorang masuk bilik gelap tu lagi sekali sambil line up pegang bahu org depan..tibe2 lampu terbuka..kitorang pun dapat saksikan situasi tempat kitorang struggle tadi. ruperupe nye macam sangkar kucing je tau tak..aish.saya pun terfikir, nape la kitorang bodoh sangat tadi sampai tak realize saiz sebenar tempat tu..nice memory~


pastu round kawasan2 training dorang..oh..tak sangka rupenye training bomba pun mencabar jugak! pastu take picture together..balik bilik..kemas..mandi..bawak barang sume turun lunch..pastu balik.


ekceli banyak benda lagi yg saya dah tak larat nak cerite..semoga hard disc at my brain tak hang or stuck ke ape..saya harap utk ingat sume benda.tapi kadang2 saya tak mampu.so saya tulis sikit..


staying 3days 2nights there was a nice experience although there were some bad ones. for all those, i got bruises and body aches as a present..best tak? dalam citer ney saya ade guna past tense and present tense sebab initial part saya tulis waktu saya kat sana


dah.penat.nak kena study lagi.aish~


t.h.a.t. i.s. f.o.r. t.h.i.s. t.i.m.e.^_^