Random

assalamualaikum

it has been a while since my last update..it's not really i'm busy but i really got nothing to say out..my thought just stuck on my mind

even during reflection session last friday, i didn't know what to say for sharing experience..how bad i am.i got stuck day by day without knowing the reason.

but anyway..i'm happy right now..i got myself clear both mind and soul.

i can't figure out how's that happened..but that it.i do'nt have nothing to worry about, to mad at..and also got nothing to cheer with

it's all because I"M A LONE RANGER

sometime i feel that i can't wait to end this status although i can't think of next

stop talking non-sense falah!

today, my friend told me that she will get married soon

"chenaio.."that's what i said to her

i should be happy to hear that after seeing her dating for sometimes.

last 2 weeks, my ex-roomie told that she was taken

ottoke chanaeo??

really i have no idea to greet her

last night i slept at 2.30 after complete the personal taste

sume orang bahagia akhirnye...

hari ney i was sleepy in class

padan muka! sape suruh tido lambat

t.h.a.t. i.s. f.o.r. t.h.i.s. t.i.m.e.^^

my weekend

assalamualaikum

last weekend saya pegi camp

so this weekend perhaps takde pape yg saya kena buat

just relax tengok secret garden yg dah bape lame tak habis2

burn Friday night ngan Saturday sampai petang

bila dah petang baru nak start buat thesis

agak lembap sebab dah lama tak main Excel ngan analyze data

ambik masa sampai malam nak siapkan tak sampai 5 pages.

lega bila dah siap

sabtu malam saya pegi masjid besi..kawan saya ajak

kitorang solat Isyak berjemaah kat sana then dengar ceramah maulidurrasul yg ade kaitan ngan palestin..best hirup udara.haha

lepas balik umah after siapkan thesis tu sambung ngan pbl

susah payah saya nak faham pathophysiology of dengue

tapi saya bukan focus buat keje semata-mata

at the same time saya ym ngan my Siti..sampai kul 12 lebih kot.macam2 kitorang cakap sebab dah lama menyepi sampai last part saya nangis sebab..adela.

habis ngan Siti..aten pulak sambung..

entah ape yg merepek sampai kul 3.30 pagi saya pun tak tau..ney sume gara2 die citer pasal love story die..saya lemas betul la sebab saya tak pro dalam bab tu

so saya taktau nak respond in a proper way..sory aten ek..

hari ahad bangun 'awal' sebab sape suruh tido lambat

lepas siap mandi ape sume..terus teringat pasal program yg dokter ckp which is scheduled today..then saya decide nak pegi sebab this is my first time

so macam tak bagus la tak datang.

about the program..agak interesting jugak

having fun with kids a.k.a aulad for about 3 hours.

the best scene waktu kat situ was bile ade sorang dokter ney die tanye nama dan umur saya as in i was one of those kids..tanye nama tu saya jawab la..tapi bila tanya umur saya dah buat muka pelik..saya cakap saya budak cucms..die pun tergelak sebab ingatkan saya kid.

haha..entah bile i can be looked as an adult.

dorang panggil saya kak falah^^..saya dah cakap kat dokter that saya akan terus involve as a faci there..just nak isi masa berfaedah

petang ahad what should i do? jawabnye study le

main map yg tak berkesudahan sila sudahkan

sila prepare untuk tomorrow's classes

weekend saya kali ney agak ok

sebab ade interaction ngan manusia..nyata dan tak nyata

saranghaeyo everyone yg ceriakan weekend saya..ekceli saya nak write sumthing about that..tapi macam tak sempat.nanti la..semoga ingatan saya berkekalan

t.h.a.t. i.s. f.o.r. t.h.i.s. t.i.m.e.^^

kenangan masa lalu

assalamualaikum 

tadi saya godek-godek internet
pastu terjumpa website JPP KMKN 08/09
dari situ saya start exploring flickr la..picasa la..
then saya jumpa la gambar kat bawah ney..
ekceli banyak lagi gambar yg dorang upload kat flickr tu
(i really miss them since sume pic simpanan saya telah hilang)
saya rasa ney mesti abg ad punye keje..tenkiu^^

saya yg mana satu?^^

frankly saying..
lately saya salu teringat pasal kmkn and peoples who was there
rindu? missing? i don't know the right word..

considering that i have no friends here
perhaps my kmkn buddies were the best.and that's why i can't forget them


comparing to my college here
kmkn's environment was 100x better.. 
and i found my happiness there
maybe sebab first time berjauhan ngan family
i learnt a lot of things waktu kat kmkn..

puan pengarah yg berdedikasi

last but not least..

jutaan terima kasih saya ucapkan kepada semua yg telah menceriakan hidup saya selama di KMKN (may 2008-april 2009)

sarangheyo everyone~

t.h.a.t. i.s. f.o.r. t.h.i.s. t.i.m.e.^^

My own decision

assalamualaikum

When my name was listed to attend the DRM training, I was resisted to go instead. Lagipun, wataniah group dah pegi to that place a month ago..so dorang dah mcm citer sikit2 what happened there. But guess where am I right now?? I am at the Akademi Bomba & Penyelamat Malaysia, Kuala Kubu Bharu.

It is not that I come as my name was listed, but this is my decision..a decision made by me a few hours before we were going..kalau nak ikutkan sebab I was asked to go, saya boleh je taknak pegi sebab saya dah mmg salu sangat refuse and create a lot of excuses for not joining..and I keep doing that since sekolah rendah.hebat tak saya. Tapi kalau nak diikutkan dari segi ability, saya mmg boleh dikategorikan as ‘disable’ in certain cases. Pastu bila saya cakap kat umi kena pegi camp ney, umi suruh cakap kat ayah..tapi bila saya mesej ayah..ayah cakap “up to u my sweety”..tapi ayah suruh buat solat istikharah (istikharah tu perlu dalam segenap aspek kehidupan)

When it came to my decision making, I was a little confused as I am not a kind of person with ‘free-decision making’. Tapi sejak dari awal lagi mmg saya langsung tak teringin nak pegi..jiwa saya tak penah serasi untuk sume tu..asal ape saje outdoor activities, mmg silap la kalau ajak saya..dorang dah promote mcm2 kat saya..saya was like *blurrrrrrr..

Tapi bila saya fikir banyak kali..then that’s why i am here! So saya takde salahkan sape2 for my going. Banyak sebab la yg saya fikir then I think this would be the best decision for me.

Ape saye buat kat sini??

Jumaat ptg: sampai je->check in bilik -> ambik properties utk kegunaan kat sini -> pastu die suruh kitorang test kawad, pumping atas tar ngan star jump secara serentak..kononnye nak test stamina..bla la die..ingat kitorang ney camp recruits ke? Pumping atas tar tu azab tau..habes tangan merah2 dengan sakit bahu lagi nak kena tahan badan..hish..i never do that ok!

Sabtu: sessi pagi before lunch kitorang just dengar talk je pasal Majlis Keselamatan Negara & Incident Management System yg semestinya mengantuk.huh~ then balik bilik rehat..before 2pm dah kene ready with uniform tu (overall+boots+helmet).

Then we were teached on ‘compressed air tank’..how to operate sume. ‘fortunately’..kitorang kene buat sendiri lepas tu siap ngan pakai mask so that we used that air to breath. Saya sangat lemas pakai benda alah tu..dah la die mengeluarkan bunyi yg tak best. Pastu kitorang kena sort of kawad bomba with that set on pur body.berat giler..memang sakit belakang dibuatnye. Adeke pulak die suruh buat star jump..berat wey!

Pastu ade kena larilari..naik bukit sikit turun bukit lagi dgn pakai benda alah tu..saya mmg dah tercungap-cungap..sape tak kenal saya yg always weak ney..dlm hati saya dah menyumpah-nyumpah ‘kenape aku dtg sini’, ‘ish, takde modul training yg lembut sikit ke?’

Bila dah habis round 1, saya dah tak tahan breath with that air..hidung saya dah berair..nak lap tak boleh, nak sedut pun tak boleh..saya pun stop at that point..en.bomba tu tolong bukakan mask yg melemaskan saya tu. Bila saya dah ok sikit bernafas saya pakai balik sume to continue the task. Saya tengok orang lain tengah menyusur kat padang. Saya just merangkak je sebab saya tak larat nak menyusur mcm tu..

But soon after that menyusur session, air tank saya beeped, which indicate low air content. Bila saya bagitau kat abg bomba, die cakap takpe..just continue until I can hardly breath. So saya pun continue la..tapi jadi the last person la. nasib baik abg bomba tu jalan seiring saya n cakap2 ngan saya.kalau tidak saya dah taknak teruskan sampai  habis rasenye.

Sampai je end point, abg bomba tu tolong bukakan mask ngan air tank saya tu..thank you abg bomba~ pastu just imagine kitorang kena bawak balik tangki tu naik ke bilik masing2 at 3^rd floor..sangat terseksa.

Malam pulak ade simulation on handling kebakaran. My role was to become a dead victim in the incidence. Bila ade pasukan penyelamat nak datang selamatkan saya, saya mmg act like a dead body..unresponsiveness. pastu dorang angkat saya bawak turun..saya dengar dorang cakap saya berat..pastu letakkan saya kat bawah kejap waiting for stretcher. Dan saya pun terus mematikan diri. Yes I’m good in acting.well. waktu dibawak atas stretcher tu, saya agak takut sebenarnye..sebab ramai yg tolong tapi rasa mcm senget je..so saya terpaksa pegang tepi side stretcher tu..nice memory~

ahad: pagi ade sharing experience ngan prof salamun n pakcik bomba tu..mcm bese masalah bile duduk lama2 ngan dengar presentation.huh. after break, kitorang kena loosen that tangki n simpan balik kat tempat die. 


pastu bermulalah episod lain..kitorang dibagi to 4 people per group utk masuk kat tempat gelap. tujuannye supaya kite tau cara2 nak selamatkan diri if caught up with dark. lagi satu utk hilangkan fobia gelap.tak taula.tu org tu yg cakap. kitorang kena pakai mask sekali utk filter air kat dlm tu (nasib baik takyah pakai tank)..group by group kena masuk ikut turn.


waktu briefing group kitorang kat dlm entrance gelap tu, abg bomba tu cakap cube imagine duduk 6 feet in with no single light..pastu malaikat datang. if amalan kite baik, it will brighten us..if not, tau2 sendiri la..(tazkirah dari abg bomba..insaf la jugak sebab mmg sangat gelap ok)


bile dah start masuk, saya jadi the 4th person so just follow the other 3 friends..cuba taknak lepaskan tangan dorang..my pupil dilate besar gile kot waktu tu..ade part kitorang kena merangkak, panjat, terjun, menyusur dan berjalan teraba raba..ade lubang, tunnel ape cukup kat dalam tu. mmg berpeluh peluh la dibuatnya..quite longer time jugak la kitorang ambik utk jumpa jalan keluar. muka dah macam sauna sebab pakai mask tu.


havoc tak pengalaman bilik gelap saya??


bile sume group dah complete, kitorang gather balik..bomba2 tu suruh kitorang masuk bilik gelap tu lagi sekali sambil line up pegang bahu org depan..tibe2 lampu terbuka..kitorang pun dapat saksikan situasi tempat kitorang struggle tadi. ruperupe nye macam sangkar kucing je tau tak..aish.saya pun terfikir, nape la kitorang bodoh sangat tadi sampai tak realize saiz sebenar tempat tu..nice memory~


pastu round kawasan2 training dorang..oh..tak sangka rupenye training bomba pun mencabar jugak! pastu take picture together..balik bilik..kemas..mandi..bawak barang sume turun lunch..pastu balik.


ekceli banyak benda lagi yg saya dah tak larat nak cerite..semoga hard disc at my brain tak hang or stuck ke ape..saya harap utk ingat sume benda.tapi kadang2 saya tak mampu.so saya tulis sikit..


staying 3days 2nights there was a nice experience although there were some bad ones. for all those, i got bruises and body aches as a present..best tak? dalam citer ney saya ade guna past tense and present tense sebab initial part saya tulis waktu saya kat sana


dah.penat.nak kena study lagi.aish~


t.h.a.t. i.s. f.o.r. t.h.i.s. t.i.m.e.^_^

Happy Birthday Big Boy

assalamualaikum

tanggal 10.02.2011..

maka genaplah usia 17 tahun adik lelaki sulung saya.

usia remaja yg penuh dengan pancaroba

malam tadi dan juga pagi tadi

saya sempat cakap ngan die on phone

as he is at home right now after about 6 months abroad.

my wish to u my big brother:

it's good that u're back.

i am sad to hear about u.

but i can't do anything except my prayer to Allah

 don't u ever know that as the first boy in the siblings 

u carries a lot of responsibilities along ur life

and u should acts as a role model to our little brothers and sisters

so 

on ur birthday.

i wish u best of luck for the rest of ur life 

please stop acting like a syaitan.

i think u should know better what our parents want us to be

they want us to be a crystal pearl among the corals 

(that's what i understand)

u r still young and energetic..

nafsu dicipta untuk menguji sejauh mana iman manusia

sila jangan turuti segala bisikan syaitan

there're a lot other good ways u can do 

and i'm sure u know what r they.

if u said that the best punishment u should get is God punishment..

then i would like to ask u..r u that ready??

it's still not too late for u to change

for me..u're not that bad.

Allah Maha Pengampun lagi Maha Penyayang

pintu taubat tak pernah tertutup buat insan yg benar2 insaf

sila tunaikan azam birthday yg kamu cakap semalam

don't play with words. 

for birthday present yg kamu mintak..

tak payah nak jeles ngan adik yg umur 1 tahun 3 bulan

kakak bagi adik drinking cup on his birthday

because that's what he need at that age.

then u?

please tell me what u deserve to get

frankly, i don't know the most appropriate thing to give

but i think i should pray a lot for u

so that u become a better man in future

can u promise me that u won't repeat the same mistakes?

please let ALLAH be The Witness

this is how my brother looks:

credited to google

sape tak kenal mamat ney?

saya ngan adik perempuan saya dah buat comparison

that muka my brother ada iras die

a typical Malay guy yg agak poyo 

p/s: Mr B adik saya, sila jgn perasan

t.h.a.t. i.s. f.o.r. t.h.i.s. t.i.m.e.

Kisah Waktu Cuti

assalamualaikum

28/1/11

Today is Friday..mcm yg selalu saya cakap, saya ada exam pagi tadi. Dunno why, tapi saya agak rushing since pagi lagi. Jumaat yg bertuah..sbb saya bangun awal dengan tenang even tak habis baca lagi..saya suka perasaan tu..mandi pun awal, bersiap pun awal, pegi kolej pun awal padahal exam start kul 11..lepas exam ade usrah..tapi baru tak sampai setengah jam I’ve to leave..sebab tak kemas barang lagi

Balik putra..solat zohor..kemas barang..pastu nak buat PBL lagi..sebab kalau dah balik umah saya dah takde tenet..alhamdulillah,saya sempat siap before ayah datang..

Pastu cepat2 pegi ILIM Bangi nak mintak cop pengesahan dari kawan ayah pasal boring mara tu..ish.pastu patah balik cyber nak hantar form dekat kolej. Naik turun tangga ngan terkejar2 buat saya rasa sangat semput..about pukul 4.30 pm baru sume urusan selesai..syukur pada Allah..

Saya dah start cuti..tapi saya dapat rasakan cuti saya sangat tak bermakna kali ney..saya cepat2 nak balik bukannya pegi taiping, tapi tinggal kat subang je..sampai hari ape..wallahua’lam..lagi cepat lagi bagus..mood saya mcm spoil sikit..ntah..saya tau sumenye pasti ade hikmahnya. Yg penting I should try my best to spend the rest of my days meaningfully.

Saya rasa tak best..saya tau saya tak boleh cakap macam ney kat sape2 except my sis, Husna..kenape takde orang faham ape yg saya rasa? Of course, I’ve no right to choose..but I wish I could have.

yaAllah..berilah hambaMu ini ketenangan dan kebahagiaan yg berpanjangan..kerna aku berpegang pada janjiMu ‘Inna maal ‘usri yusra’..

30/1/11

Hari ney hari ahad..mcm tak sedar dah 2 hari berlalu..sepi..sedih..dan segala mcm perasaan yg saya rasa sekarang..but I have to endure all this. Saya betul2 tak sabar nak tunggu saat boleh balik taiping. My heaven is there.

Semalam saya dah habis baca satu buku.. ‘Wo Ai Ni Allah’ tajuk die..bestla jugak..that book is about a family with a little girl and all of them are atheis.. finally they want to look for God and at the end they become Muslims as Allah as their God.. jalan cerita die agak rumit..that is the reader can’t really guess the ending of the story..saya bagi rating 4/5.

Pastu hari ney saya dah habiskan baca satu lagi buku ‘What I Learned In Medical School; Personal Stories of Young Doctors’.. ekceli, buku tu saya pinjam kat library dah sekian lama..sejak disember lagi..tapi saya just finish my reading by today..buku tu saya bagi rating 3/5.

Tadi saya masak sup ayam..SAYA MASAK OK!! Sebenarnye saya dah lama tak practice Bakau terpendam saya ney sebab saya dah lama tak balik umah taiping..saya hanya masak bile balik taiping je..kat tempat lain NO apatah lagi kat umah saya present 8 tu..nak makan pun takde feel..nak masak lagi la tak.

I can’t stay here for any longer!

31/1/11 – 5/2/11

Saya kat taiping bersama family tercinta..tempoh 5 hari saya rasa mcm 5 jam je..sedih en..pastu dah nak balik putra..taktau bile lagi saya boleh jumpa family..walaupun saya hanya belaja kat Malaysia, tapi saya tetap rasa jauh dari family bila saya kat putra n cyber..padahal tak sampai 1000km pun.

Saya cuba sedaya upaya utk utilize my time maximally with my family..even tak dpt gather lame2 pun saya bersyukur sebab dapat jumpa all my siblings..bila saya nak pergi adik saya baru balik umah..takpe ade hikmah utk semua tu

6/2/11

Today is my last day of holiday..besok  ade class ye..jumaat final exam!

Saya bertolak dari umah at about 4pm..perjalanan yg sepatutnye 3 jam jadi 8 jam!!!penat, lenguh, sakit pinggang, mengantuk sume ade. Kesesakan lalu lintas memang menyesakkan jiwa.huh!

Dah penat nak cerite.

Sekian kisah hidup waktu cuti J

t.h.a.t. i.s. f.o.r. t.h.i.s. t.i.m.e.^_^