Surgery at Terendak

Assalamualaikum

For the second time, I am in Terendak again..but not for medical anymore.

Yesterday was my first  day here.. I just came all the way from Taiping to Cyberjaya and finally reached here by 1.30am..and malam tu jugak baru kalut nak buat TBL memandangkan I never have a look on my study during holiday..shame on me! My roomate wasn't came back yet on that night..so I was sleeping alone with light on (as usual)^^

---talking about balik..actually that was all out of my plan. Alhamdulillah, Allah gives me what I deserve.

First day..Tuesday 8/11/11..

We went to the hospital at 8..it was quite late for a medical student..but it couldn't be helped since we woke up late and need to iron dresses and tudung first. In the hospital, it is relieved that lecturer didn't came yet. We joined surgical out patient clinic in the morning. Then we waited for our lecturer to come since we had session with him. But suddenly, he couldn't came. It was frustrating for our first session here turned to be like that..and I was supposed to be one of the presenter yesterday.

Life goes on..so we went to operation theater in the afternoon, learning how to do scrubbing, gowning and gloving from staffnurses. Scrub was the most interesting part. We need to brush from nail to elbow for hundreds time!! Ouc..it almost hurt!.. Then, we went back and have meals together at kedai tomyam. At night, all girls gathered at my room and we had such a welcoming party..my roomate brought bake macaroni, and we finished them up plus ketupat, rendang and orange. No drink served. We had sweet time together chatting, laughing, and the last part was cleaning and washing. When everybody leaved my room, I started to feel sleepy. Not more than one hour of reading, I decided to light off and sleep.

Today..my alarm rang at 4 o'clock in the cold morning. I supposed to wake up and complete my presentation slide. I noticed a dark surrounding when I woke up. Blackout! So I thought back..how about my laptop battery ruined??so I can't finish my work in this dark. The whole block is blackout. Then I decided to sleep back for how long until I heard a very loud azan subuh. Still dark. I had my shower with coldddddd water in a dark bathroom!

Going to the hospital..slight earlier than yesterday. We had ward orientation by a 'not very welcoming' sister. It took just a few minutes only. And after that we had noting, just to wait for our lecturer to come (he said within 90 minutes). However, he just came after about 3 hours. The first session began with my friends' presentation. I was sooo sleepy but thank God he didn't really noticed it (btw, I don't know whether he noticed or not *-*). After the presentation end, he asked me questions about intestinal obstruction, hernias and all that. I was slightly shocked. My answers never seem to impress him. NEVER!! He asked why we look stunned every time he pointed out questions.  And as usual, I started to have 'stupid feeling' inside me.

Suddenly, he called for next presentation..and that was ours..both of us. We went downstairs for laptop and compiling. I met Dr Tajmul and Dr Rosman on the way down..but it was heartbroken because the most we could do was just greet them, as we needed to RUSH downstairs. I started to have palpitation and dyspnea..and of course adrenaline rush! I had to calm myself, recite few doa' before going inside. I lead the presentation and I was completely being grilled by him!!! He keep asking me this and that even before I started. He even said that I 'tak faham soalan'!. It’s good that I was able to make 'muka seposen' in front of him.

After that we had lunch and prayer break for 30 minutes. He wanted us to come back at 3..for what..we don't know..

At 3pm+, we met again and we had nothing other than motivational talk by him. Some of the stories are inspiring, but some are not especially when talk and act are not synchronize. The session ended at about 5pm..and we had ABC and keropok lekor Cik Nor before went back to our rooms. At 6pm+, 4 of us walked along seashore. We recite ma'thurat together at one big rock besides the sea with water splashed at us.

Laut bergelora dengan gulungan ombak

Angin kencang

Daun nyiur menari-nari

Air masin memercik ke daratan

Paras air menutupi pulau-pulau kecil

Yang kelihatan hanyalah batu- batu besar

-NuRFaLaH-

IM 1..in memory

assalamualaikum 


while memory about my first posting is still wondering inside me, i should write something about it. the reason why i wrote IM 1..in memory is because i have completed 2 months of internal medicine posting with clinical exam yesterday and will never had the same experiences again..i really appreciate every single thing that i learnt and undergone throughout this 2 months..sob.sob..


from the beginning, Prof Latiff did remind us that IM is everything under the sun..so segala  diseases yang ada kat dunia ni sumenye under medicine. agak2 cuak tak dengar statement tu??terus terlintas how i'm gonna learn this way........but then day by day..i feel so happy and interest in medicine even without a lot of reading and studying. 


i like all lecturers in IM especially attending lecturers like Dr Shu, Dr Rafizi, Dr Rosman and Dr Ali and a few others..they are like very inspiring to teach and give us every knowledge that they know of. every weekend we had extra classes by Dr Shu and Dr Rafizi at main campus..they do that out of their job and they sacrifice a lot of their time for us..it is not compulsory for us to attend the classes,,but sangatlah rugi orang yang mensia-siakan peluang yang ada..and please tell me berapa ramai orang nak buat tuition free tanpa sebarang bayaran dan tidak akan dibayar??


when we were at Hospital Putrajaya,,most of abang kakak house officer baik nak tolong kitorang..(tapi tak dinafikan at first ramai yang buat tak layan..maybe sebab they are buzy)..we love to have 'on call' there..lagi best sebab dah tak ramai H.O..so we can explore the data and pegi clerk patient yang tak boleh tido. ward round at HPJ is awesome..macam nak patah kaki..waktu bulan ramadhan rasa macam nak pitam.huu~ saya memang salute dekat specialist yang buat round tu sebab die tak tujuk muka penat at all. on a public holiday, i was joining Dr Shu's round because she was the specialist 'on call'..it was more than 5 hours i guess! i joined late and i went back earlier but the round was not end yet. that's why people said that medicine's ward round is the longest..and i should agree *_*


in terendak, once in a week we had to go to Putra Specialist Hospital, Melaka to have a session with Dr Izham..we managed to look at a few angiogram procedures done by him. he is very passionate to be with us up to 7 to 8 pm (sampai kitorang pun dah tak larat). 


3 best terendak doctors would be Dr Rosman, Dr Ali and Dr Tajmul. sometimes, our sessions ended by maghrib time. we saw a lot of echocradiogram done by both of them and we managed to join OGDS (endoscopy) procedure once with Dr Ali and Dr Tajmul. Those were all best learning experiences for me and my other friends


Dr Izham is my examiner for my first clinical exam..he never come to see how i perform the exam..and i just need to present everything to him..history, physical examination and investigation..he just smiled and ask only few things..i ended up my exam after he said "good..well done!!"..but then it was really confusing whether i was really good or crap. 


Best memories together:

at Dr Shu & Dr Rafizi's house

• iftar together at Putrajaya (can't recall name of the restaurant), specially treated by Dr Rafizi + Dr Shu..at first, kitorang yg plan nak ajak both of them..tapi sebaliknya happened..so we just accepted dengan hati dan mulut terbuka.
• Potluck raya at Dr Rafizi&Dr Shu's house at precint 14. we spent about 3 hours there by eating..makan dgn sebegitu banyaknya dgn kfc, bihun goreng dr shu, sate, cake birthday mel, dan banyak lagi..sambil main2 ngan cute little farhah^^ yang sgt suke screaming..and dr shu shared her wonderful life at southampton. then siap bagi tapau bawak balik makanan lagi.
• open house rumah Dr Ali selepas bulan syawal dah berakhir..pun best jugak..dapat merasa makan laksa tomyam for the first time.. then tgok dinding rumah dokter yang dicat sendiri oleh beliau menngunakan SanCora..very nice^^ (kalau tak tau mcamane rupa cat tu,,silalah cari di sepanjang higway..banyak iklan cat tuh)
• last but not least..pegi pantai tanjung bidara with Dr Rosman^^)..plan asal ialah jogging bersama or brisk walking masuk dalam kampung..tapi sumenye datang berpakaian santai yang hanya layak ke pantai sahaja..we walked along the beach, panjat batubatu besar and finally we went into a resort area yg telah ditinggalkan dan dipenuhi semak samun (kalau suruh saya pegi sorang2 memang sumpah saya takkan pegi tempat tu..sebab sgt scary)

p/s: lepas dah habis IM..tibetibe saya rase macam nak buat MRCP..tapi saya nak jadi gynae..so boleh tak saya nak ambik both MRCP and MRCOG? YaAllah perkenankanlah hajatku..


t.h.a.t. i.s. f.o.r. t.h.i.s. t.i.m.e.^^

My first post in my 19

assalamualaikum 


it has been 3 months since my last post..and that was before my pro exam.
now i'm sailing through my first year of clinical phase..
too much feeling to describe about it.


i love my profession to be..perhaps i will never change my mind

i mix with new people for this time being..thank God, Alhamdulillah..they are very supportive colleagues. 


i mix with real patients and i'm happy being with them..much more happier when they could remember me^^ and i myself could not even forget every single of patient especially those i spent more than hour with. Ya Allah, give me this kind of happiness forever until my last day of life as Your Servant in this world. 


i sorta love this place, doctors here and of course patients..but i have no choice..we have to leave by Sunday to another place. i hope i can find my happiness there.


the only problem is that i dont know how to study..my brain was like freeze after the exam last 3 months..i need to break the ice back so that it can recover well soon..i want to be the best i can and the furthest i can go.


**now i'm 19^^..just celebrating my birthday on first Raya..and of course i'm anak merdeka^^. i feel like i'm an adult now..with 18 little brothers and sisters.


t.h.a.t. i.s. f.o.r. t.h.i.s. t.i.m.e.^^

Saya dan Dia

assalamualaikum 


lagi 3 hari saya nak exam
tapi still buat keje takde faedah ie tulis blog
sebab kadang2 saya pun stress jugak kalau asik tengok notes je


back to the topic

Keep motivated falah^^

assalamualaikum 

today is friday 1st Rajab..which means Ramadhan will be heading 2 months ahead.

i have only 10 days before my 1st pro exam..what a nervous and frightened moment.

what's important now is for me to keep motivated and cheerful to face the exam.

i guess everyone has their own way to keep motivated..

as for me i used to bear in mind that Allah will always help me whatever situation it is.

Allah akan makbulkan doa kite in the best way yang terbaik utk kite.

so don't worry..just be an obedient mu'min 

mcm dr rafidah cerite tadi based on her experience when she was in Year 4, O & G posting

she took study as her priority and leave other things aside..in order to focus better

unfortunately, during the exam day which was OSCE, the examiner took quite sometimes to spell her name right (sbb waktu tu they didn't use sticker as students' identification). it dragged her given time and finally she couldn't complete the physical examination within time..then she started to feel unease for subsequent station. Ble result keluar..she just got fair result which was really not equivalent to the efforts she made..Dr rafidah did learnt from her mistake and she want us to learn from hers as well..

efforts alone doesn't determine our success..coz Allah berhak menentukan segalanya..

macam ape yg saya penah lalui, sometimes bile kite study gilegile sampai depan pintu hall lagi seminit nak start exam pun, dapat result bese bese je (macam tak study)..

tapi bile kite relax2..study without stress dan tak penah lupakan Allah..macam unbelievable dapat result bagus even study bese bese je..saya pun bukannya terer pun, tapi i used to be cool and chill^^(kalau dalam bab study je la..dalam hal lain saya sangat stress)

lagi satu..don't forget ur parents..

saya selalu call umi untuk dapatkan ketenangan sebab sume stress selalunya hilang when i talk with her (even i don't tell her what kind of problem i'm having).when i think of my family, i feel motivated to study because they are my inspiration..

"yesterday might be bitter but tomorrow may be better"

untuk santapan di petang jumaat:

Firman Allah dalam Surah Az-Zumar [39:49]

Maka apabila manusia disentuh oleh sesuatu bahaya, ia segera berdoa kepada Kami; kemudian apabila Kami memberikannya sesuatu nikmat (sebagai kurnia) dari Kami, berkatalah ia (dengan sombongnya): "Aku diberikan nikmat ini hanyalah disebabkan pengetahuan dan kepandaian yang ada padaku". (Tidaklah benar apa yang dikatakannya itu) bahkan pemberian nikmat yang tersebut adalah ujian (adakah ia bersyukur atau sebaliknya), akan tetapi kebanyakan mereka tidak mengetahui (hakikat itu). 

t.h.a.t. i.s. f.o.r. t.h.i.s. t.i.m.e.^^

You pray for me^^

assalamualaikum 


to mydear..
i really appreciate your prayer 
and i wrote it on the first sheet of my notebook
so that i can have a look every time i open the book
please continue praying for each other
may Allah bless us :)

Ya Allah..

Kau hiasilah sahabatku ini

kebijaksanaan para Malaikat

kefahaman para Rasul..dan..

hafazan para Nabi...

Permudahkanlah urusannya selancar tusukan jarum..

Perkenankanlah ilmu Mu pada dia

agar ilmu yang dipelajarinya mudah difahami

seperti cepatnya air diserap tanah...

Kebalkanlah dirinya dari fikiran buruk dan dicerca

seperti kebalnya daun keladi terhadap air...

,,Allahumma Ameen,,

t.h.a.t. i.s. f.o.r. t.h.i.s. t.i.m.e.^^

Header blog saya

assalamualaikum 


sila tengok header blog saya
tu sume kak tikah punya hasil kerja
die sangat suka main photoshop tu..thanks to kak tikah kerana menghabiskan masa create benda tu untuk saya..luv u^^


saya tak pernah ade idea macamane nak buat benda alah header tu
tapi saya sangat tingin nak header yang cantek plus cute plus comel


lepas habis pro exam nanti saya nak belaja photoshop for the second time 


t.h.a.t. i.s. f.o.r. t.h.i.s. t.i.m.e.^^

saya busy

assalamualaikum 


lately
saya dah takde banyak masa
saya kena study untuk first pro
sebab saya berangan nak dapat distinction
sebab saya dah tak sabar nak habiskan med school
so saya dah tak sempat buat benda lain
study
tido
makan
duduk dlm kete
rehat sikitsikit
tu je yang saya boleh buat 
sebab saya sangat takut


sila doakan saya


t.h.a.t. i.s. f.o.r. t.h.i.s. t.i.m.e.^^

my little sister^^

assalamualaikum 

setelah lebih sebulan si kecil itu menatap dunia

baru hari ney saya berkesempatan menulis sesuatu tentang die

one Saturday, on 19th March yg lalu saya ikut ayah balik taiping

tak sampai setengah jam berada di rumah

ayah terus memecut sederhana laju menuju ke Ipoh dengan saya, umi dan co-driver ayah

lebih kurang satu jam kemudian

kami tiba di Pusat Rawatan Islam Ar-Ridzuan dan terus ke Emergency Dept.

nurse terus bawak umi ke labor room kat 2nd floor

lepas dah settlekan deposit & registration, 
ayah terpaksa pergi sebab ada kuliah di Kulim, Kedah 
(ayah mmg superb traveler: Putrajaya-Shah Alam-Taiping-Ipoh-Taiping-Kulim-Ipoh..in one day)

lepas dah letak barang keperluan umi di ward

saya ke labor room nak jumpa umi

ingatkan boleh stay kat dalam tu, tapi nurse tu cakap "adik boleh tunggu diluar ye"

sementara tunggu, saya ambik Yaasin baca

then ayah call: "nur..make sure everything is normal" 

"ok.." dalam hati 'ape yg saya boleh buat selain doa'.huhu

tak lama lepas dokter datang, saya dengar suara baby nangis from that room

"ney mesti adik saya"..tu yg saya fikir

mmg betul pun..she was born lagi seminit nak pukul 5ptg

then, nurse bawak baby keluar ke nursery utk dibersihkan

saya pun ikut je sekali nak observe ape yg dibuat:

baby diletakkan bawah cahaya lampu..so that die tak sejuk 

nurse wipe kan the whole body guna kapas

pastu measure length (51 cm) and weight (2.6 kg)

then only pakaikan baju and balut baby 

bila saya call ayah bagitau sume dah selamat

ayah suruh saya qamatkan baby..nanti later ayah azankan

saya pun spent the whole night kat ward ngan umi

ward yg eksklusif utk seorang patient dan sangat selesa (umi la yg selesa..saya tak)

besok pagi dalam pukul 11..dah boleh discharge lepas Paed dah datang cek baby

so bermulalah episod kehidupan baru seorang baby girl yg diberi nama 
Siti Mariyam Nadhirah LH..
melengkapkan jumlah anak-anak umi ke satu dozen

saya sayang die^^
(tapi syg xde USB nak upload gamba die yg cute..)

t.h.a.t. i.s. f.o.r. t.h.i.s. t.i.m.e.^^

DRM camp

assalamualaikum


..setelah sekian lama tak menulis..

saya baru je balik dari camping selama 3 hari 2 malam di Kem Lambaian Danau, Jasin, Melaka

a field exercise for Disaster & Relief Medicine (DRM) block

that was my 3rd camp yg saya dah lalui dalam tahun ney

i've wrote about the first camp but not the second one

sebab yg kedua tu sangat havoc and made me speechless 

tapi one day saya akan tulis jugak

13 April (Wednesday)

pagi tu kitorang ade class mcm bese..tapi habis awal sikit dalam pukul 11.so sempat la balik umah nak tukar baju ape sume..then at 1pm ade cc session sampai pukul 2.30. at 4pm, then only kitorang sume naik bas masing2..15 minutes later baru bas bergerak. Tak sampai setengah jam kemudian, bas berhenti di tepi highway sebab one of the bas pecah tayar..so kitorang tunggu jela dlm bas nak dekat sejam..satu movie dlm bas dah tamat pun. We reached the camp at 7.45pm..solat..makan..then baru ade briefing and pasang khemah  masing2. Phone dgn watch kena serahkan pada lecturers.. dekat pukul 12 baru rehat.

as usual, i couldn't sleep..sangat tak selesa..masuk sleeping bag..pusing sana..pusing sini..kepala mengadap pintu khemah..akhirnya tertidur jugak dan saya rasa waktu tu dah pukul 2.30am kot. Tak sampai berape jam pun tido, bunyi fire crackers ape bagai..tu tanda ade disaster. sume kena evacuate..keluar khemah pegi berkumpul..nasib baik saya pakai tracksuit ngan long sleeve shirt tido..so bangun pakai tudung je..memang kalut la. lepas dah habis selesai, baru die bagitau jam sebenarnya pukul 4 pagi.sgt mengantuk ok!

15 April (Thursday)

5.30 pagi, sentry yg bertugas dah sibuk kejutkan sume orang bangun subuh. sgt memekak dan annoying..bangun gosok gigi then pegi surau sebab dah takleh tido. At 7am, ade morning exercise. baru nyanyi lagu Negaraku sepatah, dah kena lari 3 rounds sebab low pitch. Exercise pulak macam ape je. simple but tired. 

pastu ade perasmian.. after that, ade lecture pasal In Hospital Disaster Management. In 3 groups, we had to design our own hospital..and our team had chosen as the winner. After lunch takde any fixed activity..amatlah ramai yg tido bergelimpangan kat hall tu..dan semestinya saya BUKAN one of them. so duduk je lepak2..pastu pegi belaja and paractice GPS. then Prof ajar transportation..macamane nak angkat mangsa, precaution ape sume..and i'd to be a 'patient' for practical purpose

cervical collar- pakaikan to unconscious patient/ spinal cord injury

triangular bandage- for humerus fracture

at night, we had war game..fight between CuRe (my team), Young Mercy and Wataniah. our weapons are balloons filled with diluted white paint. i don't know the best strategy for that game since it was my first time. As we played in the dark, i felt down while running and got abrasions at both knees and hand. 

after the game ended, everyone sibuk nak mandi since most of us never been bathing since yesterday. kitorang mandi beramai-ramai kat kolah besar dengan lampu yg malap. even though air yg digunakan sangat tak best (air tasik yg di pump), saya tetap mandi, sabun and shampoo banyak2. Hujan renyai2 dan saya tido agak ok that night. Pukul 5 pagi kena bangun berjaga round sume khemah..sambil menggigil kesejukan dan tersengguk2 mengantuk. Lepas kejutkan orang bangun subuh, saya sambung tido sampai 6.30.

16 April (Friday)

Lepas breakfast, we got a short briefing regarding todays's activity.. a plane crash dengan 40 mangsa tercampak merata tempat. everyone had given their roles..and my role was to be one of the victims. sume mangsa di 'make-up' oleh lecturers dan diletakkan kat mana yg sesuai. Saya dan 3 orang lagi disuruh berendam dalam tasik dengan memakai life-jacket..skrip lakonan saya: kepala berdarah (guna sirap and buncho color), menggigil (hypothermia), drowsy (mcm biul2 sebab ade head injury). Saya tanya mcmane ciri2 drowsy, Mr P cakap spinning, slurred speech and blurred.

pasukan penyelamat datang agak lambat..air pun dah start masuk telinga..nasib baik ade life jacket. kalau tak mmg dah lemas agaknye. Hanya penyelamat lelaki yg datang kat kawasan air. Air tasik tu agak dalam sebab tanah die berpaya dan jerlus..so agak menyusahkan penyelamat.

penyelamat A: mcamane nak selamatkan ni? kan tak leh ade physical contact

penyelamat B: tapi die pakai life jacket..so boleh la kot.

penyelamat A: jom kita angkat jela bawak keluar.

saya tak sanggup nak tengok sape yg angkat saya tu..mmg segan la..2 kali saya dilepaskan ke dalam air for unknown reason; maybe sebab berat or kaki diorang masuk dalam tanah. Just imagine someone thrown you into the lake. kalau sendiri terjun ok lagi sbb mmg dah ready. Memang la saya selamat sebab ade life-jacket tu, tapi still..horror u know!

after dah bawak keluar, saya diletakkan atas titi while waiting for another group of penyelamat. Without checking anything, they simply labeled me as 'RED' which means primary priority. But actually I was supposed to be 'YELLOW', secondary priority.. At first, I was pretending to be menggigil, tapi then mmg betul2 menggigil dan sejuk. For the second time, another group of penyelamat lelaki transport me out ke tempat yg selamat.. beberapa kali saya diletakkan atas tanah sebab diorang penat. Mmg penat pun sebab perjalanan agak jauh plus saya dah diberatkan oleh air and life jacket. Situasi agak memalukan sebab sepanjang laluan sume orang pandang saya yg drowsy and menggigil ney. 

Then saya di pass to another group of penyelemat. kali ney baru saya dibawa menggunakan stretcher oleh penyelamat perempuan after take out the life-jacket. Saya dibawa terus ke khemah rawatan. Then, saya diletakkan atas sehelai kain dan diselimutkan. Medical team kat situ dah tak tau how to treat me sebab ade head injury. Pastu saya diangkat menggunakan kain utk ke tertiary hospital.

saya              : kat mane ney? (dengan nada slurred speech)

medical team : dah sampai hospital dah..

saya              : aaahhh...seeejuuukkk...seeejuuukkk..

medical team : bangun la..lakonan dah habis kat sini.

saya              : eh..kte betul2 sejuk la (dengan menggigil-gigil yg sebenar-benar)

saya terus meringkuk dalam selimut tu sebab dah tak tahan sejuknye. Then Prof datang, suruh saya pegi tukar baju. Bila berdiri je, saya terus rasa mcm hilang balance and drowsy..nasib baik ade kakak admin and sorang kawan saya datang guide pimpin saya. Waktu tu saya dah tak tau khemah saya yg mana satu..sgt blur..nasib baik kawan saya tau dan die tolong bukakan zip..saya ambik pakaian dan toiletries, sekali lagi kakak tu pimpin bawak pegi tempat mandi. Bila saya cakap saya dah ok kat sini, then only kakak tu pegi. Saya terus ambik air siram kat atas kepala berkali-kali..baru hilang drowsy. 

After that semua berkumpul balik for photography session. Saya dah takde rupa victim sebab dah mandi bersih. 

Lepas lunch, kitorang beba buat ape saje sementara tunggu bas datang. So saya pegi berkayak kat tasik. And it was a nice thing to remember^^

At 4.15..we leaved the camp and i was sleeping along the way sampai tol Putrajaya..we arrived at college by 6.30pm

...TAMAT...

Dah Dewasa eh?

assalamualaikum

i wonder..adakah saya dah dewasa sekarang???

mmg tak dinafikan i will turn 19 in 5 months onwards..and i am such a big sister since i got so many adiks.

tapi saya tak sure can i be an adult

what makes me think? let me explain..

saya merupakan seorang yang suka report daily activities kat umi

mmg since tadika sampai sekarang..and maybe sampai bilebile

dan saya tak akan pegi mana2 or join ape2 activity unless i told umi first

of course, everything must be ok throughout the activity (kalau tak, umi akan buat suara risau..dan saya sangat tak suka to hear that)

about ayah pulak

saya takpenah jarang report everything to him

bagi saya..ayah is too busy to hear all those merepek from me

tapi satu je yg saya akan bagitau

that is when i have to attend overnight outdoor activities like camping ke, training pape ke, and even program ilmiah pun as long as it is done outside my college overnight

kalau dulu saya bagitau kat ayah

for sure macam2 he would ask..and i had to explain clearly about the program.

kira macam saya buat proposal la..kena dapatkan approval

the earlier i told, the better the prognosis

kadang2 ayah tak terus approve je..he might taken a few days to do so.

tapi sekarang bila saya bagitau by sms or call

ayah will ask me back: "kamu nak pegi ke?"

even saya tak jawab clearly pun.. ayah akan cakap: "ikut suke kamu la"

then he will ask briefly about the program thingy

saya jawab tak berape nak confident pun ayah macam tak kisah

last but not least

ayah will remind me to baca yasin and ayatul kursi everytime

that means saya sekarang have to make my own decision

ayah dah ajar saya untuk jadi dewasa

and i have to think well sebab saya taknak menyesal and keep blaming myself

of course sumorang nak yg terbaik utk diri sendiri

in any situation

saya perlu lebih banyak bergantung ngan ALLAH

sebab DIA lah sebaik-baik petunjuk

dan HE will guide us with the Hidayah

~I WISH I CAN BE A GENIUS CLEVER PERSON~

t.h.a.t. i.s. f.o.r. t.h.i.s. t.i.m.e.^^

sangat penat

assalamualaikum


satu hari suntuk keluar umah kul 9 pagi..balik kul 10 malam..memang sangat memenatkan
without any significant reasons, saya rasa macam dah tak larat nak bukak mata

weekly assessment

group discussion

revision class

usrah at bangi

visit my friend's bestfriend

teman kawan pegi hot air balloon

suppose to go back to taiping tonight..tapi ayah postpone besok pagi

lagipun, memang sangat tak masuk akal if ayah nak return to shah alam sebelum subuh after hantar saya balik taiping tonight..dah la he just came back from kedah this evening.

ouch..saya tolong  rasa penat bagi pihak ayah 

waktu otw pegi usrah, tibetibe ayah call nak ajak balik

saya diam..sebab besok suppose to attend a conference kat KL plus nak jumpa girlfriend lama (sambil menyelam minum air)

then ayah tanya; is it really important?

i felt so cuak..it must be something for him to ask like that

yes.

Allah really gives me such a right instinct

salunye ape yang saya agak..teka..dan sebagainya adalah tepat

ade pros and cons to feel that kind instinct 

so, demi insan istimewa yang paling saya cintai

saya rela cancel my date with my girlfriend

saya rela tak pegi conference

saya rela balik umah walaupun final exam is on thursday

tak kisah la.

Allah je yang tau ape yg bermain di fikiran saya waktu dapat call from ayah and tak dapat nak call umi at the same time.

tapi alhamdulillah..

saya dah dapat call umi after maghrib 

just nak confirm if something really happened

takde papela.

ayah just worried kot that's why he wants me to be home

at least..saya jadi manusia berguna 

t.h.a.t. i.s. f.o.r. t.h.i.s. t.i.m.e.^^

Keinsafan..

assalamualaikum 

i am in love with this song since pertama kali dengar sampai la sekarang

tak pernah bosan sebab die sangat menyentuh hati

boleh menitiskan airmata kalau hayati lirik die

Sepi benar senja ini ..

bayu nya semilir menganak ombak kecil

jalur ufuk pula mengemas terang

kapal dan layar terkapar..

Mengapa nantikan senja baru kan terdetik pulang ke pengkalan

gusar malam mengahampiri ku tewas di lautan

Tuhan...

layarkan ku arah cintaMu..

tuntuniku menggapai redhaMu..

rimunan kasihMu ku berteduh kepada Mu Ya Tuhan..

Berikan secebis keinsafan..

bekalan sepanjang perlanan mencari ketenangan..

Biar Kau menjadi saksi tulus tangis ku kala dinihari

kesempatan yang hanya sebentar.. 

moga keikhlasan ku terlakar..

Berikanlah ku hidayah..

agar dikuatkan iman yang lemah..

moga diberkati hidup ini menuju bahagia yang kekal abadi..

Harapanku moga dikurniakan manisnya iman berpanjangan..

moga lautan hilang gelora untuk ku belayar~

t.h.a.t. i.s. f.o.r. t.h.i.s. t.i.m.e.^^

what else yg saya nak??

assalamualaikum

dah dekat seminggu tak menulis kat sini sebab macam2 alasan

last fortnight merungut nak balik umah..pastu dah dapat balik

last weekend balik lagi..ade weeding pak uda and mak anjang..and birthday umi

isnin pagi bertolak dari taiping  (for sure ponteng class)..pastu ikut ayah ceramah sana sini..ayah belanja kasut baru (saya telan airliur je tangok harga..huhu)..balik umah ayah dulu lunch and rest

hari isnin malam baru sampai putra..agak penat.

tu cerita simple ape yang berlaku

owh ye..saya dapat 'mak uda' yg berusia 18 tahun.heh.saya nak salam pun dalam hati cakap "eh, ney nak cium tangan ke tak??" pastu die pun tak tau nak address saya macam mane..sorry..saya mmg cold orangnye..

saya pun dapat 'pak anjang' baru..the second event after 9 years ago.

birthday umi saya buat dua biji chocolate cakes^^..

balik umah over the weekends mmg rase macam tak sempat buat apeape.

sangat sekejap

hari selasa ade discussion pro exam with prof latiff

like he said: it was a miserable thing

saya sedar lagi bape hari je nak exam..tapi what to do bile saya tak rase nak study

i feel like an idiot back then

saya taktau ape lagi yg saya perlukan so that saya boleh study dengan aman bahagia

ape lagi yg saya nak so that i can take revision as my routine

ape lagi?? sila bagitau saya

p/s: to Public Health, sila tunjukkan sape diri anda yg sebenar..i really have no idea about you and your thingy~

t.h.a.t. i.s. f.o.r. t.h.i.s. t.i.m.e.^^

Public Health

assalamualaikum

sekarang dah masuk march..march penuh ngan birthday my family members..

5/3:shaffa

10/3: husna

13/3: mybeloved umi

23/3: sofiya

.../3: new coming ^^

so ape saya patut buat dengan list diatas??saya pun taktau sebab tu sume tarikh2 yg melekat kat dalam otak saya sebab mereka insan yg saya sayangi..sumtimes, hadiah are nothing as my love grows every times i see them.

not to forget 21/3 is aten birthday..my x-roomie

tajuk entry saya sangat takde kaitan dengan ape yg saya tulis sebenarnye

the only relation is sekarang saya tengah belaja public health.entah ape yg saya belaja i also donno..takde satu pun nak melekat kat brain ney!

hari ney saya tak pegi class pun..the reason is tak larat..demam ke ape wallahua'lam

ekceli syndrome lama saya menyerang lagi..syndrome when i miss my family

haru kan hidup saya..saya sendiri pun taktau macamane boleh jadi macam tu

ingatkan bile dah besar sydrome tu akan disappear *saya dah besar ke?

tapi rupenye die datang balik..sangat malu ok nak bgtau and admit

eish..adik adik aku pun tak macam ney

besok macam bese ade test.tapi ape yg saya dah bace??

dari pagi tak larat..nak bukak buku pun malas..nak bukak laptop download notes lagila malas

so..ape nak buat..berserah jela..ingat2 lupa..

sorry..sila jangan salahkan manamana pihak dalam kes ini

weekend ney saya request nak balik taiping. REQUEST ok.

sebab ade masenye saya macam dah tak mampu nak bertahan hidup kat sini

takde kebahagiaan langsung i tell u!

sape nak rase boleh cube gantikan diri saya..i doubt u can survive.haha

semoga saya diberi kekuatan oleh ALLAH

and hope i can recharge my energy bile balik umah nanti.insyaAllah.

t.h.a.t. i.s. f.o.r. t.h.i.s. t.i.m.e.^^

Random

assalamualaikum

it has been a while since my last update..it's not really i'm busy but i really got nothing to say out..my thought just stuck on my mind

even during reflection session last friday, i didn't know what to say for sharing experience..how bad i am.i got stuck day by day without knowing the reason.

but anyway..i'm happy right now..i got myself clear both mind and soul.

i can't figure out how's that happened..but that it.i do'nt have nothing to worry about, to mad at..and also got nothing to cheer with

it's all because I"M A LONE RANGER

sometime i feel that i can't wait to end this status although i can't think of next

stop talking non-sense falah!

today, my friend told me that she will get married soon

"chenaio.."that's what i said to her

i should be happy to hear that after seeing her dating for sometimes.

last 2 weeks, my ex-roomie told that she was taken

ottoke chanaeo??

really i have no idea to greet her

last night i slept at 2.30 after complete the personal taste

sume orang bahagia akhirnye...

hari ney i was sleepy in class

padan muka! sape suruh tido lambat

t.h.a.t. i.s. f.o.r. t.h.i.s. t.i.m.e.^^