the end of 2010

assalamualaikum

saya tak jadi balik subang malam ney.maybe besok.

entry ney ditulis betul2 at the end of 2010..

saya tak tau nape tibetibe je saya baru ade feel that 2010 will gonna end

in a few minutes je lagi..

siyes before this saya tak rase pape..

dan baru sekarang jugak saya selak balik memori saya

nak muhasabah balik ape yg saya dah buat dalam mase setahun ney

macam takde pape pun kan

pejam celik pejam celik

dah habis satu tahun

saya nak cari balik azam tahun 2010 that i wrote sumwhere

tapi mcm malas nak cari

tunggu balik umah taiping nnt jumpe la kot

saya tak faham nape org beriye nak celebrate new year

takde makna pape pun

cube fikir dua tiga kali

kalau fikir sekali mmg rase mcm 

"eh..suka hati aku la nak smbut new year..ape ko kesah?"

tapi kalau fikir byk kali

then only we will realize that celebrating every coming year is just like celebrating our own death..best tak?

sbb lagi meningkat tahun means lagi pendek umur kite

so kalau dah tau tak lama lagi nak mati

tak kan still nak celebrate excited gile kot

at least..do sumthing yg boleh improve our life quality and of course our life after death

takkan nak siasia mcm tu je

(saya tak ckp ney kat sapesape..coz this is also a remainder for me)

bagi saya every one should have their own azam baru

tak kisah ape org nak ckp

"eleh ko tu..azam baru konon, buat belum tentu"

tapi at least

we try to set in our mind that we should realize all those things

coz i trust that we are what we think and we believe 

sebab when we have self confident

ekceli we can do a lot of things

byk unexpected things yg kite buat come from our brave and confident

sampai kadang2 kite mcm tak percaya

" eh betul ke aku yg buat ney" 

kan?

for 2011

that will be coming soon in a few minutes

i wish i can be a better person in all aspects of life

that's all i can say i think

sebab saya dah listkan my resolutions on Muharam hari tu

yela tahun baru Islam kan

insyaAllah

i'll try to keep my promise to myself

and to my Lord..Allah The Almighhty

if doesn't following my favor is consider good

than i won't follow that

maybe my favor is from nafsu semata mata

ok

selamat tinggal 2010

sayonara tahun yang bersejarah

(tibetibe rase emo mcm nak nangis)

t.h.a.t. i.s. f.o.r. t.h.i.s. t.i.m.e.

Pizza ganti ngan Bihun Sup

assalamualaikum 


kejap lagi saya akan balik subang.


last few weeks, saya janji that on Dec 31..saya nak order pizza..Domino's Pizza to be exact.
tapi atas sebab sebab tertentu..saya terpaksa mungkir janji tu (lagipun tu bkn janji yg bagus sgt pun..just nak makan je kan).. bcos i know i got the strong reason behind that..


tapi takpe..tahun depan still there..Pizza tu tak kan kemana nye as long as die tak bankrupt lagi..nnt bila saya rasa saya patut order pizza, i'll do that (tapi tahun depan la..no more tahun ney)


then..sebab nak pujuk diri sendiri..saya ajak kawan saya pegi makan Sup kat Ani Sup Utara bcos soup is my alternative food to pizza..
tapi sampai je kat sana nak park kete, tgok kedai tu tutup..sedih betul.ney mesti kes cuti sebab bola..tak patut betul..food have no any relation with football ok!


pastu tukar venue, kitorang pegi Taman Warisan..kat situ ade sate kajang..tapi saya langsung tak interested sebab still frust tak dapat makan sup tadi..


then saya nampak ade gerai jual Bihun Sup..terus je saya pegi dan order satu BihunSup..
harga die ok la..not bad..rm 3.50..rasa die pun bolehla..saya pun makan la..time tu ekceli mmg dah lapar gile sbb tak makan since breakfast roti 3 keping at 7 am tadi..kire la dah berape jam kan.


sebab dah nak maghrib..kitorang pun balik right after makan..lepas ckp alhamdulillah..saya ckp dalam hati..akhirnya saya dapat ganti Pizza ngan BihunSup utk diri saya..semoga saya baik dan sabar tunggu for the next time Pizza.ok.


t.h.a.t. i.s. f.o.r. t.h.i.s. t.i.m.e.

antara results dan perasaan

assalamualaikum


hari yang tak best..
pagi Jumaat as usual..xde keje lain other than test..


pastu
harini results utk last block dah keluar
dan i'm the one who paste it on the board..


saya tgah tunggu my mentor kt luar bilik lecturer tuh
then tetibe dr hamidah kuar and ask 
"ade sapesape second year tak kat sini?"
sebab time tu ramai student yg gather kt situ
but i'm the only second year that exist.
dgn bangga nye saya pun m'jawab "ye saya second year..nape dr?"
"nah ambik ney pegi tampal".. she give me that paper.
saya pun ambik dan tengok..
perasaan waktu tu sgtlah cannot be describe..taktau lah kenape..
sampaikan saya lupa nak tgok results saya sendiri.


saya pegi toilet..and panggil kawan saya yg sdg berada dlm toilet
"awak..result dah kuar,ade kt tgn kite"
"hah?? ape??" die pun cepatcepat kuar..
then only saya buka kertas tu and tengok the results
mcm speechless pun ade..mcm my brain stop functioning at that time.
results saya is not that bad.
tapi bila saya tgok results kawan saya tu and my other groupmates..
tetibe rasa sgt sedih..i feel so bad.
nape diorang terer sangat???? most of them are better than me.
even beza satu grade je..but still..bcoz of that satu grade..i lost 0.34 points.


saya redha dan bersyukur dng ape yg saya dapat.
cuma just saya sedih sebab can get the best grade.


i try to rationalize my thought.
maybe saya slack kat OSPE kot..mungkin markah saya tak sampai sepuluh pun (out of 60)
OSPE tu kan banyak anatomy..saya kan allergic ngan anatomy..padanla muka saya.
maybe markah OSCE saya pun not so good kot..below 8 out of 10.
takpela..
tapi i believe in myself, i was doing very well in final exam last time..i mean the writing one..at least i get 80 out of 100%..i should be confident with myself bcoz i had giving my best effort in answering that..i also applied all my existing knowledge on Nervous System to answer the questions..i think i was doing it well..


pastu baru saya rase ok sikit
selepas dah berjaya coolkan diri sendiri


and saya janji ngan diri saya 
i'll get back what i'd lost during last block
and redeem it to this block
inshaAllah i'll keep my promise up to this coming Friday.
dan saya bernazar..kalau saya dpt A for this block..
i'll fasting for 3 days..
may Allah help me..


t.h.a.t. i.s. f.o.r. t.h.i.s. t.i.m.e.

Kelas Harini

assalamualaikum

tengok title entry tu pun dah mcm boring kan

saya that been there lagi la 10 kali ganda boring

Allah je la yg tau perasaan saya bertahan kat dlm kelas tu.

 today is MONDAY.

nak tau kenapa saya highlight kan word monday tu

sebab saya tak pernah ready nak dtg kelas on monday

nak blaja apatah lagi

dan sentiasa tak sabar nak tunggu pukul 12.30pm

sebab boleh balik

(sangat tak senonoh kan?)

todat i got 2 classes.

my first class tu yg sangat menyeksakan

saya dah ckp bape kali saya taksuka cara belaja mcm tu

walaupun org ckp effective ke bagus ke ape ke

saya tetap taksuka

coz i don't feel the goodness

saya tau saya sangatlah takbaik if i oppose my lecturer

sbb saya tau dorang lagi bagus dari saya

in all aspect kan

tapi saya memang takleh nak terima that learning style

tak kisah la ape org nk cakap

ney pasal saya masalah saya bkn org lain

saya betulbetul rasa mcm tak gune je dtg class.

because i gain nothing

how poor i am

tapi saya takkan tak dtg class dgn sengaja

sengaja maksud saya when i dont make it when i can make it.

sbb kawan saya yg sorang tu salu ckp:

taknak dtg class takpe la.

pastu korang keluar bawak sekali ngan berkat2 tu sume pegi

saya tau pasal tu

that's why saya akan tetap dtg class even some are so bored

sbb knowledge is nothing without blessing

kite boleh belaja balik bile balik umah

yg kite nak blessing of our lecturers

bila die tengok ramai org tak dtg

saya tau lecturers sgt sedih.

i can imagine im in their place

sebab tu saya taknak buat dorang sedih

t.h.a.t. i.s. f.o.r. t.h.i.s. t.i.m.e.

GOOGLE

assalamualaikum


hari ney saya nak buat pengakuan bahawa sesungguhnya amatlah bahaya if we play with search engine such as google dan sewaktu dgnnye (as well as fb search). sangat bahaya ok..and i said that because i've been through it.


since last night, saya dgn sukahati nye membuang masa utk type nama kawan saya (the old friends, not the current one) kt dlm google search ney. mesti org pelik en nape saya perlu buat mcm tu..i got my reason btw. mcm saya ckp td..'the old friends'..means that we never see each other for more than 5 years with no news or calls or any form of contact. sgt sedih bile fikir 10 kali. tapi sygnye tak jumpe jgak friends that i'm searching for.


then saya type lagi,names of my old classmates waktu sekolah rendah dulu, name of a person yg saya salu gaduh waktu sekolah rendah dulu..dan lainlain.dan akhirnya i found a few of them. kt google tu ckp die is on fb. so mmg agak mustahil la utk saya add die kan.


then saya main lagi.saya tulis nama my old relatives (ney kali ketiga saya guna word old..for the same reason..we never meet for more than 5 years) and i wanna know how they are doing. i wanna know how my childhood brothers and sisters are doing right now.that's why i used google..not as a stalker or sneaker or what so ever..but as me..the one who lost her childhood moment.


yes i found them (my old relatives) on google. most of them got fb. and one more time, it's impossible for me to add them.but i did view some of their profile. i get to know where r they studying rite now and some other info. ramai yg dah berubah..tp saya faham..ppl keep changing as they r growing. tapi still, ade certain changes that make me feel sad and disappointed. but i know, i've no right to judge anyone. when i looked at their names and some got profiles, i think about the past..if we could grow together..if we got no problems..if and if and if...


pastu saya rase menyesal. patutnye saya tak perlu search nama diorang.tak perlu tau pasal diorang.tak perlu segalanya.and just let bygone be bygone. saya rase mcm nak salahkan google tu. kenapa nama diorang ade kat situ? saya sgt bersyukur nama saya not been displayed by google.except for certain things during my matric time.my name is there on google but it's academic things.kenchanaa.


saya lebih suka takde org cari saya..dan ignore saya..itu lebih baik mungkin! so that sume org lain tak jadi mcm saya.sgt psycho.tak berpijak di bumi yg nyata


malam ney saya jumpa lagi..tapi lepas ni saya TRY to promise that i will never find them again..unless we meet in reality..tu pun saya taknak jumpa secara kebetulan.


sila faham kenapa saya ckp google tu bahaya..yup..google sgt bahaya. sila berkelakuan baik jika anda berada di laman sesawang anda atau apeape akaun yg anda ade (fb,myspace,blog ke ape ke) kerana nama anda akan dikenali oleh si google. dan die akan displaykan bila ade sape2 tekan search. 


p/s:it's good not to use ur real name anyway (like what i'm doing)~


t.h.a.t. i.s. f.o.r. t.h.i.s. t.i.m.e.

Retrace of First Entry

assalamualaikum..


this should be my 1st entry for my blog since i started blogging a few hours ago. actually, i'm not so sure why i start with this kind of things. mula-mula sebab saya suka visit my friend's blog, then i found it veeery interesting (then i start thinking of having my own)..that's why i started (1st reason)


2nd reason..sbb saye skrg da berumur 18 tahun 3 bulan ++, so saya rasa now's the time for me to write my own journal instead of having diary comel that i used to have before. it's not like saying yg saya skrg da mature or ape..tp just mcm saya da takde masa nk tulis guna pen yg colorful kt dlm buku yg comel tu. i still remember..sejak masuk 1st year, jarang2 je saya spend time together with that book compared to my lappy ney. but of course, i'm not gonna publish everything on my blog as what i used to do with my buku comel.. 
i promise myself,,whnever i miss (myself), i'll go and see u again my Lovely Bear (nama buku comel saya)

*Dream of Love ney pun is one of my collection

bawah ney saya ada tulis sumthing lagi tapi dah tak dapat nk trace.

yg kat atas ney pun nasib baik saya jumpa waktu search kat google

thanks to Mr google

kalau tak saya pun lenyap terus la first entry saya

plus saya sendiri pun dah lupe ape yg saya merepek

t.h.a.t. i.s. f.o.r. t.h.i.s. t.i.m.e.^_^

Saya dan Semalam

assalamualaikum


i supposed to puasa semalam.btw memang saya puasa pun.dan saya pegi class seperti biasa..after balik dari class, saya singgah kedai dan berjalan agak jauh la utk smpai ke kedai sbb takde parking yg dekat.then terus balik umah
memandangkan semalam hari khamis, so saya kena study sbb jumaat ada test (mcm bese). study tak sampai satu jam saya pun baring dan terus tertido. sedarsedar dah pukul 5 mcm tu.tapi saya tak terus bangun, just stay je baring. then my friend called me nk tnye pasal ape ntah..saya rasa sangatlah tak larat nak b'cakap ngan die.i guessed maybe sebab baru bangun tido.


after a few minutes, saya pun bangun menuju ke bilik air utk ambik wudhuk. masuk je, saya tengok muka saya kat cermin tu, ya Allah, dah macam ape je..mengalahkan blue baby.grey la pulak. waktu tu saya rasa sangat ringan and macam hilang balance. then saya keluar balik dan baring lagi. the whole body sangat sejuk time tu (bukan sejuk angin or air cond, tapi sejuk yg macam mayat je). sume nye jadi putih.nak bergerak pun macam dah tak upaya.waktu tu rasa macam nak bukak puasa je. tp syg sbb dah pukul 5 lebih


i tried to adjust my position..tak lama lepas tu, gastrointestinal tract saya buat masalah..i felt nauseated. terus pegi sink and i vomited something greenish(it was bile juice i guessed) sangat la pedih kerongkong ney. i just ate kurma and mineral water waktu sahur, that's why my GIT was clear.no food inside. 


dah ter'mun'..alamat batal la puasa saya. mulamula memang la tak sengaja, tapi bila dah banyak kite akan try push it out, so jadilah sengaja. muka saya dah back to normal sikit.tapi still tak larat nak jalan. saya rasa saya dah hypoglycemia which is low blood glucose (sbb saya mmg tak penah ambik gula secara literally, except yg ade dlm food). dan saya takde apeape makanan yg manis. so i thought of kurma. turun bawah maka kurma 3 biji n minum air mineral. pastu masak nasi.


naik balik nak solat, tapi i vomited again. all the kurma and air tadi. lepas solat saya mandi then baring je sampai dah rasa ok sikit baru turun nak makan nasi. saya panaskan ikan bush jacket yg umi bekal dari rumah,tp lepas ikan tu dah panas saya rasa sangat loya bau ikan tu. i couldn't start eating. saya makan sekeping roti dulu nak bagi hilang rasa loya then baru saya makan nasi tu. tu pun tak kunyah sgt, main telan je..lepas makan, minum air mineral lagi.


then saya tanya najwa "awk ade air manis tak?"
die pun pelik "air manis? maksud awk?"
"apeape air la selain air masak.."tu jawapan saya.


pastu saya minum air teh crysantimum najwa. naik atas balik nak solat maghrib pulak. pegi gosok gigi then muntah lagi. sume nasi tadi. (dlm hati, baik takyah makan).lepas solat maghrib, baca yasin ok sikit la, baru start nak baca notes. sambil makan kerepek bawang yg saya beli tadi.

then umi call, saya pun cerita la from A to Z ape yang dah berlaku kat saya tadi

umi ckp "lain kali kalau tak larat jgn puasa.mkn kurma je tak cukup..bahaya nanti"

ok.saya dengar.

bila dah cakap ngan umi, macam bese la..dah tak ingat dunia

macammacam saya cerita, yg saya belaja dlm class pun masuk sekali.

pastu dgr suara budak kecik Ameen tu nangis, cakap ngan die pulak

die pun nak rebut phone from umi

bila umi tak kasi..die nangis lagi kuat

then only we stop our conversation

after about one hour on phone

after that baru saya boleh study dgn aman dan bahagia nye..

bila rumate saya dah balik, 

(saya pesan die tlg belikan milo satu kotak time die keluar study)

saya pun minum milo sbb nak dptkan energy

selepas jam saya berbunyi menandakan pukul 12,

saya rasa saya patut tido

habiskan baca note yg saya tengah pegang

before pukul satu saya dah ready to sleep

dengan confidentnye (macam tak bese je)

walaupun banyak lagi yang tak baca.

besok bangun pagi pun boleh sambung lagi kan=)

t.h.a.t. i.s. f.o.r. t.h.i.s. t.i.m.e.^_^

dapat biskut.yeay.

assalamualaikum


petang tadi saya ada usrah ngan Dr Rafidah..sekejap je cos Dr ade keje pkul 5.tp byk jgak input yg saya dpt..Dr bg tazkirah pasal Not to be late. saya sgt setuju sbb saya sgt la tak setuju ngan org yg suka lambat ney..umi pun selalu pesan biar kite tunggu org, jgn biar org tertunggu2 sbb kte lmbt..n i try my best to keep that.


at the end of usrah, Dr tnye pasal perkmbngn akademik ktorg..cmane with new block, result sume..hehe..ktorg 5 org sengih2 je mcm kerang wangi.huhu..for me, this block is better than other previous block even saya salu ngantuk dlm class..alhamdulillah, Allah make it easier. 


pastu Dr tanye ade org dpt markah tinggi tak? takde sape pun jawab..ktorg tnye:markah tinggi tu brape Dr? Dr kate 70 and above.kak tikah pun ckp la saya. tp markah saya takde la bagus sgt pun.74 je. tp Dr ckp nk bg reward.(saya pn ckp dlm hati: ish dr ney, susah2 je..tak yah la)


nak tau ape reward yg saya dpt?
after pkul 5, Dr terpaksa minta diri dulu..n ktorg sambung skit2 sama sndiri. but in a few minutes, Dr dtg balik,ketuk pintu, and panggil saya..
Dr bagi saya benda ney:

sume og tahu kan THIS IS OREO

saya sgt la suka dgn Dr Rafidah ney sbb die guna cara positive reinforcement (psychology pnye method), so that ktorg will improve in our study and do our best. eventough Dr tak ajar ktorg pnye subjek, but she just plays her role as a psychiatrist as well as our naqibah usrah.



t.h.a.t. i.s. f.o.r. t.h.i.s. t.i.m.e.^_^

SUSHI~

assalamualaikum

kpd kwn2 yg suka mkn sushi..silalah baca artikel yg sgt bermanfaat ney

SUSHI KING~NAMPAK SEDAP..PERSOALANNYA..HALALKAH?

selamat membaca~

t.h.a.t. i.s. f.o.r. t.h.i.s. t.i.m.e. ^_^